I am just feed up and tired of feeling like this, fed up that everyday i struggle to work struggle through the day. I'm fed up of having to talk to stupid people who dont give a shit about whats really on my mind they care more about why my shirt is slightly creased and whether i have finished writing last weeks report. I am fed up of living like a ghost having noone to talk too noone that i can turn too. But what hurts me the most is knowing i dont have the strength too try and do anything about. Too many times i have trie too help myself too many times i have had the elation of hope only for it to be dashed and not working and feeling like its me bacause i cant do anything about it. I really tried to go to the doctors again to try and get something to let it all out i even wrote it down in case i couldnt say it, but i couldnt bring myself to do it the fear of what he might say knowing how doctors have treated me in the past. Now i have nothing i cant turn to friends the feew i have left think i am fucked up as it is and would probably laugh at me or worse tell everyone. i have no family to turn too i cant rest i cant sleep i cant find any hope or peace. I feel like i have burned all my bridges and now i have nowhere left to turn i have too keep stumbling forward knowing one day this is going to kill me because i cant handle it.