It sucks when someone you love lets you down and you find yourself almost begging them to give you attention, but they're too busy having the perfect day to respond to you. It doesn't matter I'm crying... they're too busy. What's worse is when you decide to spend $2550 on tickets when you could possibly get them for $550. I bought a ticket for this bastard who is ignoring me like there is no tomorrow. It's stupid, but I needed to in order to be okay the next three days before he comes. If he decides to break my heart while he's here than fine. I can accept that. I paid the money and will put the belief in my head that it's because I messed up somehow. I'm use to that. I'm use to making mistakes and having to pay greatly for it... perhaps the mistake here was falling in love, at least there I can do better moving forward, but when all is said and done it's my bastard of an idol who is claiming she is sick and has to cancel a bunch of shows. It's bull. It's pitiful that she would do this but she doesn't give a crap about singing anymore. Who knows what will happen after this. I might not see her again after this stunt. The part that sucks is the person I'm in love with ignoring me. He knew I was in tears yesterday, he knows I'm having a hard time today. It's easy to say I care about him more than he cares about me, but things are not always like this. He does care about me. When people have pulled the same crap with me he has been very protective of me. He has comforted me when people are giving me a hard time. When I have suggested traveling to see him (long distance friendship) he has said he would love that. He has helped me so much with my insecurity and has made me such a better person. I think I feel this way because I'm so use to him in my life and reassuring me. Without him I feel like crap. That's part of the reason I feel the way I do now. It sucks also that he told me because he's in the same time zone we'll be able to talk more... we're talking less. He's too wrapped up on his perfect day and doesn't want to deal with the fact that his best friend is in tears. I've done so much for him. Well for the next three days I'm ignoring him. I'm not going to put my heart out there when he doesn't bother to even look at my messages. What happened if I sent a message saying I'm going to shoot myself because things are so bad, he wouldn't even know... so that's it. I'm just ignoring him for the next three days. I won't put a damper on his perfect days and I'll go back to life alone.