My problem started almost 5 years ago this month. I took a herb I though would cure but instead it did more to erase. <mod edit - methods> and it gave me something like brain damage or neurotoxicity (totally didn't know it could do that). I developed come strange skin issue that felt like burning but no matter what I told the doctors they couldn't help me. Luckily I've been able to find come level of a cure for the skin issue. I also felt like I had suffered from PTSD but had no traumatic experience to explain the feeling. I was very apathetic but I've been feeling more emotions but it's been so hard to find how to feel again. I used to be a gifted photographer and creative person but I pretty much lost my drive in that. I've tried so many things to lift my spirits and some seem to work for a day or two and then I relapse. Yet I have had some success and I'm not as damaged as I was 5yrs ago but I still have problems because I'm isolated where I live. I live near a military base and life is just so dull. No real creative things to be involved with and no one who seems to care about better things in life. I also live with my folks in a retirement community and it too is very dull as well. Most residents remain in their homes but do venture out to the given monthly routine activities and pretty much I feel like an outsider even though I've been there for just over 3 years. I also think my mom is suffering from possible drug induced OCD from meds she takes for medical problems. She's become more and more authoritarian, abusive, apathetic, belittling and a neat freak to me an my father. Parents don't seem to give any help with my suffering and are apathetic regards to it. I've also tried to get a job but am so sick of ether getting rejections or not even getting any answers anymore. In the past I used to be able to find a ok job and suffer with it but I can't even do that now. Well truth with work is I really would like to update my chances of getting a better paying ok job but I lack the motivation to keep on working on it + I also suffer from a birth defect that many of the symptoms are depression, learning difficulty, emotions and anxiety to name a few. elost.