I get my grades today. I know for sure that I got a D in my math class. I got a D in a class last semester and my parents flipped out. So I'm pretty much expecting the same reaction this time around. I'm a freshman in college and I'm just getting used to this. I've never even taken a college level math course before. Last time, my mom yelled at me and I was just sitting there crying. My sister was there trying to defend me but my mom wouldn't listen. She never listens when she's angry. She made me feel so worthless. :badday: And my dad is the type to just shut himself off emotionally. They both said it was unacceptable that I got a D. It made me feel like they were saying I wasn't good enough their daughter even though I know they that's not what they meant. Ever since then I've been feeling depressed. My dad was constantly telling me "You must make a 3.0". He made me feel like it would be the end of the world if I didn't. And then in February, my grandmother passed away and that made me feel even more depressed. Ever since March, I've been having suicidal thoughts. I tried to tell my dad about it but he just says, "Well you just need to get over it." I think it actually scared him that I was having suicidal thoughts but he didn't want to say it. So far, I've never been tempted to act on them. But I don't want to have to go through what I went through last semester again. I just can't take the disappointment. I'm going to try writing them a note telling them exactly how profoundly their words impacted me last time. I'm not blaming them for being disappointed or anything. But what they did last semester was just pushing it too far. I know that if I try to tell them this up front, they won't listen. It's really sad when you're parents make you want to kill yourself. I mean, I don't have any friends to support me. All I have is my sister and she can only do so much. With any luck, I'll make it through this but I'm not optimistic about it.