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I'll be lucky to make through this week

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by ilikeshinythings274, May 29, 2008.

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  1. ilikeshinythings274

    ilikeshinythings274 New Member

    I get my grades today. I know for sure that I got a D in my math class. I got a D in a class last semester and my parents flipped out. So I'm pretty much expecting the same reaction this time around. I'm a freshman in college and I'm just getting used to this. I've never even taken a college level math course before.

    Last time, my mom yelled at me and I was just sitting there crying. My sister was there trying to defend me but my mom wouldn't listen. She never listens when she's angry. She made me feel so worthless. :badday: And my dad is the type to just shut himself off emotionally. They both said it was unacceptable that I got a D. It made me feel like they were saying I wasn't good enough their daughter even though I know they that's not what they meant.

    Ever since then I've been feeling depressed. My dad was constantly telling me "You must make a 3.0". He made me feel like it would be the end of the world if I didn't. And then in February, my grandmother passed away and that made me feel even more depressed. Ever since March, I've been having suicidal thoughts. I tried to tell my dad about it but he just says, "Well you just need to get over it." I think it actually scared him that I was having suicidal thoughts but he didn't want to say it. So far, I've never been tempted to act on them. But I don't want to have to go through what I went through last semester again. I just can't take the disappointment.

    I'm going to try writing them a note telling them exactly how profoundly their words impacted me last time. I'm not blaming them for being disappointed or anything. But what they did last semester was just pushing it too far. I know that if I try to tell them this up front, they won't listen. It's really sad when you're parents make you want to kill yourself. I mean, I don't have any friends to support me. All I have is my sister and she can only do so much. With any luck, I'll make it through this but I'm not optimistic about it.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I hope your parents will become more understanding about your classes. It isn't the same as high school. Is it possible for you to get a tutor for the classes you are not doing well in? Sometimes that little bit extra is all you need for things to click and understanding to happen. Good luck on your grades this semester and classes next semester. :hug:
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    please ask your sister to help you with getting some help.

    in a perfect world, your parents would take you seriously and help you by finding a counsellor or a therapist in order to tackle those suicidal thoughts, but it seems like they are on their own planet. don't let that stop you from reaching out for help.

    for what it's worth, i flunked my first year of university. 2 F's, 2 D's and a C. i was depressed and didn't bother showing up for two of my finals... i figured i'd be dead by the time the transcripts came so why bother. well it's now 24 years later and i'm still here. i had to go on probation my second year (where I got Bs and As) and after that i was a straight A student, all the way through grad school. My parents were very disappointed in me, but I am proud of me for SURVIVING that year, even though my brain was trying to kill me.

    Getting a D or even a F is hard, but it is not the end of the road. I got into the grad school I wanted, even with my first year marks, and I got a full scholarship, too.

    Please hang on.
  4. underthestars

    underthestars Active Member

    I know exactly how you feel about parents putting pressure on you. Mine are the same way and no matter what you say they dont understand.

    Have you tried therapy? I started going and its helping atleast relieve the stress. Sometimes parents dont understand how they make there kids feel until they realize how bad their hurting...

    hang on and PM if u ever want to talk
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just wanted to know how everything went...big hugs, J
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