My life could be written as a horror movie. I shall not elaborate. Basically I am alone, even around others. Freindless, I am determined to make it on my own..... however, it's no fun. Panic Disorder is ruining my mind; I do not want to hate everyone. So I turn it inward & end up hating myself. It's rediculous.... couldn't possibly be true..... I don't like it. I don't understand why I am infected by others' feelings of hatred, namely my family. No help coming from them, I wander the streets thinking of how to deal with this life & the fact that it turned on me long ago. Oh I put up a good front, I can talk to people & everything seems ok.... but sometimes my true feelings show and people ask me why I am "down".... I can't reply, not to a stranger, not to a freind. I may be infected but I choose not to spread the disease.