This is just something I need to say and get off my chest (even though I'm not saying this to the people that need to hear it). First off, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being my miserable pathetic self. I foolishly kept thinking that I could change for the better. I should have given up long ago before I made things even worse. I hope that you believe me when I say that I did NOT KNOW ALL THE PAIN I WAS CAUSING TO OTHER PEOPLE. I had no fucking clue that I was single-handedly causing so much pain to other people. No one, in my whole pathetic life, has ever told me anything about what has been happening out in the real world. I guess I was lucky to be "blissfully ignorant" for as long as I had been... but I sort of wish I had known earlier so that I could have erased myself even earlier. I feel like I murdered someone while I was sleep walking and am now finally waking up from my long slumber and I now must do what is right. "I'll do it myself" is the name of this thread, and that is exactly what I will do. It's the only way to punish myself fairly, and I can at least feel somewhat at peace knowing that I did what I had to do.