ill get sacked

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by liveinhope, Jul 13, 2007.

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  1. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Ive been on site all day today but i need to be careful im going to end up in trouble - im at work, but i cant concentrate the thought of suicide is with me every day at the moment and visiting the site makes me think of others thast are suffering which is so sad but diverts my own thoughts for a while, its hard at home becouse family dont know about SF and having recently had a failed attempt they would not understand, its sad as i cant come into chat as much as id like. I have been told to redivert my thoughts but suicide is difficult to redirect its a very npowerful emotion and one thats not left me since i came back home im struggling at work only just come back perhaps its to soon i dont know anymore really id like to just go to sleep very quietly with no fuss but forever:sad:
     
  2. life

    life Well-Known Member

    Thx for ur post again!......U feel the same way like i do!.....I dont know what to say!....I feel sad too when i read all of those post its very tragic!....Well thats the way how life is assopose...
     
  3. iracund

    iracund Antiquities Friend

    i totally know what you mean dawn. i've been sitting here all day not doing the work i should be doing. i am afraid that i am going to get canned. but i just can't seem to motivate. there are so many throught cluttered into my brain right now and it seems that there is no way to properly sort them out. i feel like i'm going crazier by the day. and the thoughts of ending it all always creep back into my head no matter how hard i try to keep them away.

    hang in there dawn. i'm here if you need me.
     
  4. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your listening ears
     
  5. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Hi Dawn,

    It sounds very difficult Dawn and I can relate to some of what you said. I can understand the feelings of suicide and how hard it is to get rid of those feelings... it sure is a difficult emotion. My therapist and i have done a bit of work on that, and while I've largely managed to redecide that i'm not going to end my life or harm myself, it's difficult to get rid of those tail end thoughts of 'oh i wish i could just die' etc etc. I think, although it's difficult, it is possible. Are you in therapy at the moment?

    And i so relate to being at work and sneaking on to SF all the time. I did that at my last job, although was constantly worried they would see what site i was looking at and would question me about it. I'm glad that you have found us and it helps take your mind off your own issues, but please do take care of yourself too... reach out for help here if you want/can.. and take precautions so your work don't catch you out and you find yourself sacked. That wouldn't be good :(

    Anyway i'll stop waffling now.. please take good care of yourself
    Jenny x
     
  6. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Thanks Jenny yes i have a therapist but am only really begining to be honest with her ive seen her for 2 years on and of but things have just got worse and worse so its really now or never tell her all or give up. I still want to give in only becouse im tired of the fight and i just feel i may get some peace if i were to die no more thoughts no more battles no more struggling with my own mind

    Hey im waffling now!! seriously thanks appreciate the reply especially today
     
  7. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    It can be very difficult to trust therapists enough to open up to them and be honest.. i guess i'm lucky with my therapist.. i've only seen her for a few months but have already felt able to share a lot with her... although we still have a looooong way to go!

    Do you have any idea why you've found it difficult to be honest with your therapist? I wonder if you'd feel brave enough to tell her how you're feeling about your sessions? I've told my therapist a few things about 'us' and although it's difficult to do, it has helped our relationship a great deal.

    Sorry things are getting worse and worse for you.. you sure don't deserve it... please don't give up. Hope things improve for you very very soon.. remember we're here anytime you want to talk
    :hug:
    Jenny x
     
  8. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I think so mich has happened its all got totally mixed up in my head and i dont know what bit to pull out first some of its grief and i just cant talk about one of the people that ive lost and some of it is so personal i again go with every intention of telling her but it just wont come out i go all round the houses , i dont want to go on the day but always do and when i leave im cross with myself for not telling her how i really feel and so it goes on .
    Thank hey
     
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