This is what's eating me up inside. Knowing that I'll never be able to open up and have a close relationship with anyone. I'll live alone, and die alone. That's my nature. I can't overcome this crushing despair. Paranoia runs rampant in my mind to the point where I can barely function. The only thing I experience is negative emotions. Mistrust is my enemy. They say suffering makes you stronger. Well, in my case it leads to mental corruption. The torment I experience continually has washed away most of my personality. I sleep, I hunger. That's it. I HATE my life and HATE that I am too cowardly to end it. I can't believe in God when my existence seems so...pointless. Even counter-productive. I don't know how much longer I can take this with without making some sort of...attempt.