I know my life could be worse. I have access to a computer and food and shelter. But nothing makes me happy, I'm miserable, I've ruined all my relationships and my career. I can't see how I'll ever feel better. I can't see myself doing anything. I feel pathetic for feeling so unhappy and being unable to fix it myself, I'm an adult not a sappy teenager. I should be able to handle things myself. I exercise, try to eat and sleep, went to counselling but that was stupid and a few different drugs. Maybe I'm a failure at being depressed too, maybe I'm just stupid and no one can fix that. Anyone advice out there? Things I have been doing don't help. All I can think is that if I can't fix this, a few bottles of betablockers benzos and sleep aids should do the trick.