I'll try to kill myself again today...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Alexxanderr, May 30, 2012.

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  1. Alexxanderr

    Alexxanderr New Member

    I am 16 and I can't handle the pain...

    Since I was little nobody wanted me, neither my mom or my dad and they both beat me multiple times. Also, the other kids always made fun of me because I was fat and was always left out, so throughout my life I was always home alone, grew up being shy and with no friends. The other kids even threw rocks at me just for fun...
    In the last years, my dad died and after I lost like 30 kg (66 lbs), changed my hair, my clothes, my behavior just to be accepted by others... and it paid off some time when I was feeling for the 1st time good. But in the last months everything shattered when I realized how a lot of people consider me as junk and don't give a sh*t about me... and today I had a massive breakdown for years and I just want to die... no need to say I've never had a girlfriend in my life and I feel like crap when I see two mates kissing when I never had the chance even to be loved by others...
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu are 16 hun you need to get into therapy talk to someone about how you are feeling get some help to build up your self esteem You are so young so much time to get the supports in place to help you move forward hun
     
  3. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    You are still young. 16 is the beginning of the rest of your life, you have so much you can achieve if you put your mind and your energy to it. At 16 I never had been in a relationship, or been kissed, and I did feel down about it, I saw myself as ugly, and stupid and horrible, (still see it now 7 years on but it gets easier). Sometimes it does seem like there is no hope, but there will always be hope, get to a doctor and tell them how you feel. Tell them what goes on inside your head, and how situations make you feel, and get yourself some support.
    When you get that support system around you, make use of it, and help yourself become who you want to be. Depression doesnt have to be forever, death is final. If you commited suicide, you would not know what you could be, or what you could do, or how happy you will no doubt be one day. It all requires risk, but sometimes that risk is worth taking.
     
  4. supermodel

    supermodel Well-Known Member

    16 is still pretty young and for some, love could happen later in life. I apologize for the cliches but you must learn to love yourself and know that you have worth and as a person, YOU DESERVE TO BE HERE, just like the rest of us. Once you learn the love of yourself, you are ready to share your love with someone else. I felt like this when I was sixteen and didn't really find love until I turned nineteen. Everyone's experience is unique in life and you shouldn't compare yourself to others because you will always be disappointed.

    I now have a daughter that will be your age soon. I see how everything comes more easily for her than it did for me. She's very confident and compassionate; two very important qualities. I didn't have that growing up and was suicidal at ten years old. Again different experiences. But I took my experience and decided to raise my daughter differently than I was. I wasn't taught self esteem, or how to love myself at her age. I made sure not to do that to her.

    Learning to love myself, helped me become a better person and a better parent. In turn, I became able to love my partner. It will happen if you open your mind and heart to love.
     
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