im 16 and i feel so alone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by toxiclove, Aug 18, 2016.

  1. toxiclove

    toxiclove New Member

    no one really talks to me at school. its hard for me to make friends, and when i try to meet people or introduce myself they just stare at me like im a freak. my parents arent much help they kinda just ignore me. i havent seen my dad in almost year and has made zero attempts to see me. and my mom she looks at me like a burden, has even told me a few times that i was to her. but i dont really cry anymore about that because shes right.
    I honestly want to end my life, i feel like that would be the easiest route for someone like me. I had dreams of spreading joy and happiness around the world and entertaining people in anyway that i could in theater or television. But im not even pretty enough to be in the entertainment industry nor any other career that involves me putting my face in front of a camera. there is no hope for me
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the forum, I was just reading this before you pm'd me and want to let you know you are NOT pathetic. Feeling the way you are requires the help of maybe the school counsellor? Do you have any friends at all? Please keep on talking to us, we are here to help. And you are not ugly, no one is ugly so don't be so hard on yourself! (hugs)
    brknsilence likes this.
  3. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF. Know we are always here for you. Don't give up. Sorry you're struggling through so much. We care about you. Talk to us here. We will be here for you 24/7. Can you talk to the school counselor (like petal asked)? Hope they can help. Keep talking, we care.
    Petal likes this.
  4. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey there toxiclove, welcome to The forum it's tough at 16 when you're trying to just fit in and make friends. When I was 14 I moved to a new country and I looked and spoke funny, so I pretty well hid away from everyone, I remember just wanting to be accepted and belong, but it took me quite a few years to finally fit in. You sound like a really good and caring person, please don't give up on your dream of spreading joy and happiness, the world needs people like you more than ever before. Keep that goal in mind and I know it will come to pass and remember you're no longer alone, we're here to support and befriend you. Take care of yourself, you're a good and caring young lady.
    brknsilence likes this.
  5. Yoyogirl86

    Yoyogirl86 Well-Known Member

    Have you spoken to gp about hpw you are feeling or perhaps your teacher once your back at school?
    brknsilence likes this.
  6. Hello Love,
    You're not toxic. I felt the same way you did most of my life. I cared a lot about fitting in, and it seemed the harder I tried, the more I stuck out. Here's what I learned through the years: stop believing that you are worthless. You will learn that your value doesn't come from being the person everyone else wants you to be. You will learn how to be yourself and that starts with learning who you are. We all have aspects of ourselves that we don't like. But you have to learn how to love yourself for who you are, not for who the world says you should be or how you should look. Don't let people put you in a box. Define yourself. You said, "I had dreams of spreading joy and happiness around the world and entertaining people in anyway that i could in theater or television." I went to school for film, and let me tell you, you need some thick skin. You're tenderhearted, so am I. So believe me, little sister, conquer one battle at a time. I believe you have the courage and determination. But you have to believe it.
    Your situation at home is tough. I get it. I'm 28 and I still live at home. But maybe your mother is burnt out and says things she doesn't mean. We hold our parents to high standards, but they don't always parent well. At the end of the day, they're human too. I went through the same situation with my mom. I encourage you to love her for who she is, not for who you want her to be. I also encourage you to talk to her about your feelings, but also to engage her about her feelings as well. You might just learn something about her that you can appreciate.
  7. Don't believe that suicide is ever an answer. You know what your purpose is: to entertain people through film and/or television. So don't rob yourself of a chance to impactthe world :)