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im 22 and no serious bf since birth

asking_advice

Well-Known Member
#1
i did have a one night stand before. i never had a serious boyfriend.

it seems im too ugly that no one appreciate me in romantic way.

i saw my cousin who has a very low self-esteem but she is beautiful. sometimes im thinking if im beautiful or have an interesting talent maybe i can find someone that can love me.

im improving in my personality but there are still a lot part of myself i need to improve.

guys, im already 22 :(
 
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Avarice

Well-Known Member
#2
A lot of people haven't had a serious boyfriend at the age of 22 - you shouldn't compare yourself to other people if you can help it. You're a unique individual and therefore things will be different for you than they are for other people.

You should relax and enjoy being in your own company and the company of your friends for a while and I'm sure that eventually you will find somebody who will express an interest in you. People who go looking for love, or chase after it are rarely successful.
 
#3
A lot of people haven't had a serious boyfriend at the age of 22 - you shouldn't compare yourself to other people if you can help it. You're a unique individual and therefore things will be different for you than they are for other people.

You should relax and enjoy being in your own company and the company of your friends for a while and I'm sure that eventually you will find somebody who will express an interest in you. People who go looking for love, or chase after it are rarely successful.
This post says it all, every single word is so so right.


Sex is easy, but its the bit that gets you to the bedroom door that really matters.
You say you are working on your personality, that is admirable.
Beauty comes from within, when you let that shine out, the people you want most will come to you and bask under its glow.
 

aoeu

Well-Known Member
#4
What are you doing with your life? It has an effect: 50% of MIT grad students are virgins, for example. These are the smartest people in the world and they remain virgins until 24+.
 

Lestat

Well-Known Member
#5
This is the problem. Your changing yourself. How can you ask someone to love you when they wont know the real you? I find girls more attractive when they are just themselves with no acting. Only when you know the real you and can be that person can you be happy and your partner be happy. You will find someone. But first find yourself. Sorry if I sound harsh... I dont want to sound it but I think I do.
 

asking_advice

Well-Known Member
#6
What are you doing with your life? It has an effect: 50% of MIT grad students are virgins, for example. These are the smartest people in the world and they remain virgins until 24+.
i think you became judgemental in your comment. actually, i dont make any one night stand now.

virginity is only part of myself. i think i have still my life even i have random sex before. next time, be careful in your comments.


This is the problem. Your changing yourself. How can you ask someone to love you when they wont know the real you? I find girls more attractive when they are just themselves with no acting. Only when you know the real you and can be that person can you be happy and your partner be happy. You will find someone. But first find yourself. Sorry if I sound harsh... I dont want to sound it but I think I do.
this is still me. im just more wise now. i changed my false view on earth. im trying to be more sociable & open-minded.
 

aoeu

Well-Known Member
#7
What the fuck? You're calling me judgmental because you think I compared you to a virgin? (I didn't.)

I don't know the stats on "serious relationships" among MIT graduate students, but it's plainly obvious from the virginity stat that people can have better things to do than worry about sex and relationships.
 

asking_advice

Well-Known Member
#8
What the fuck? You're calling me judgmental because you think I compared you to a virgin? (I didn't.)

I don't know the stats on "serious relationships" among MIT graduate students, but it's plainly obvious from the virginity stat that people can have better things to do than worry about sex and relationships.
what ever.. thank you for you support and understanding -.-
 

herenow

Well-Known Member
#10
Yes, don't rush into anything. I almost got in "trouble" that way. I've never had a boyfriend either and I'm in my early 20's...no one's ever persued me. Don't join dating sites because it's kind mostly guys who want you know what. I wrote a letter to a writer who wrote about relationships once on her blog, and she told me I should try to make a male friend, then see if that will go into a relationship. Also she said I shouldn't rush into anything, and I should read more about what healthy relationships between couples are, stuff like that. And that I should look at my expectations about why I want a boyfriend, is it because others expect me too, because of family pressures, etc. That it should be entirely my own desire.
 

Forgotten_Man

Well-Known Member
#11
I Did not have a girlfriend till I graduated college. I was 21... 22 2 months later. When I watched my younger sister sneak around and try to be with her boyfriend while she was in high school. I was thankful that I had the freedom that an adult had. It gave my relationship more depth... at least I think so.

Females have it tough, since a lot of the initial attraction, from a male, is physical. For some females that is much harder than others. Sadly there are some females that will never be physically attractive. It is a trade-off you guys get for being the approached, not the approacher.

One thing you can do is to do lots of group stuff to improve yourself. The more people you are around the more likely you are to find someone. If you only go to one class and that is all your social interaction you will have much less of a chance of being with someone. However, if you go to five classes you just increased your dating pool.
 

herenow

Well-Known Member
#12
I Did not have a girlfriend till I graduated college. I was 21... 22 2 months later. When I watched my younger sister sneak around and try to be with her boyfriend while she was in high school. I was thankful that I had the freedom that an adult had. It gave my relationship more depth... at least I think so.

Females have it tough, since a lot of the initial attraction, from a male, is physical. For some females that is much harder than others. Sadly there are some females that will never be physically attractive. It is a trade-off you guys get for being the approached, not the approacher.

One thing you can do is to do lots of group stuff to improve yourself. The more people you are around the more likely you are to find someone. If you only go to one class and that is all your social interaction you will have much less of a chance of being with someone. However, if you go to five classes you just increased your dating pool.
Why are so many men like this :p
Trust me, beauty is like real estate, it's all location location location.
In certain countries like some third world countries a round face is more common and is considered the beautiful norm, in westernized countries it's "scientifically beautiful" to have a thin, narrow, long face. Those are just two extremes...anyone could find someone. Unless youre missing a nose you're beautiful somewhere, to someone. The ugliest things and looks have been in fashion and were at times considered beautiful, such as small bound up feet or stretched out ear lobes or big shaved foreheads (rococo times).
 

Forgotten_Man

Well-Known Member
#13
Why are so many men like this :p
Trust me, beauty is like real estate, it's all location location location.
In certain countries like some third world countries a round face is more common and is considered the beautiful norm, in westernized countries it's "scientifically beautiful" to have a thin, narrow, long face. Those are just two extremes...anyone could find someone. Unless youre missing a nose you're beautiful somewhere, to someone. The ugliest things and looks have been in fashion and were at times considered beautiful, such as small bound up feet or stretched out ear lobes or big shaved foreheads (rococo times).
I guess I was not being specific enough. Yeah I know that standards of beauty vary based on location. I am speaking within my generic locale. Most people will never leave their generic locale.
 

Lestat

Well-Known Member
#14
Ok... Truth is guys do think about sex ALOT! Many wont admit it but its hard for a guy to be "just friends" with a girl he thinks could be a girlfriend. Guys and girls are programmed different... You girls will never fully understand us and vice-versa... But I think guys are easier :) girls want commitment more and guys want an easy life and sex (at the start anyway). Its this way because it gets more babies born and thats how we evolved... Plus it works well. Its also why guys are more likely to cheat as its how were programmed... Most guys wont admit it but its the truth... Most will give you the hollywood bullshit about love and shit... But deep down they know that if a good looking girl gave them a chance and they would not get caught, they would.

But, back to your question after my rant. If you changed and it is you... Good. Get out and meet people. A guy wont come in the post (well not yet... But i'm sure apple are working on it) so get talking and making eye contact. Play hard to get and act cute. Its a skill you all have and need no training. Go, now :)
 
#15
A lot of people haven't had a serious boyfriend at the age of 22 - you shouldn't compare yourself to other people if you can help it. You're a unique individual and therefore things will be different for you than they are for other people.

You should relax and enjoy being in your own company and the company of your friends for a while and I'm sure that eventually you will find somebody who will express an interest in you. People who go looking for love, or chase after it are rarely successful.
and if you dont have any friends?
what if you never had a boyfriend?
what if thats your most important purpose in life?
its hard to not compare yourself to others when
your the only one whos 'never' had anyone in their 22 years of life.
as compared to most people who have allready at that age.
or atleast they ahve friends to distract them.
what if your tired of your own company?
 
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