That 'loser' feeling is society's view of where you should be relationship wise at this point in your life. The reality is that many are feeling the same thing, and that there is no definition of what kind of relationship should be right for you, except the definition that you give.
Being alone when you don't want to be alone sucks, I can vouch for that. And without going into detail, I've been in a similar situation in my life. God, I wish someone would have told to me earlier in my life what I'm about to say to you now. "It is better to be in no relationship at all, than to be in a bad or toxic relationship." And if those around you don't share that view, or guilt you into feeling like a 'loser' because you're not with someone, than that's their sad problem.
The last thing I'm going to say also, is that sometimes in life you may eventually get what you want, but then find out it's not what you bargained for. Whatever you do, don't become someone you're not to get something you want, because you might regret it later. I wish you well, I know what your dealing with is not easy