I'm 25 and have never been in a relationship

Toastofbant

Well-Known Member
#1
It makes me feel like such a loser. I think there is something fundamentally wrong with me. Maybe I'm just too ugly or something. I look around and I see everyone around me who have either been in a relationship or are currently in one. Maybe I'm just not good enough for anybody. What can I do? Am I truly not good enough?
 

HappyKitty

Works during the day, doodles at night.
#3
Ok honestly, don't limit yourself or limit the way you think as a start. Why would you say you're not good enough? If you're not dating now, it is fine. If you're still a virgin, it's fine like who's forcing you to do all this? What's the rush? Why the pressure when you can choose to focus on yourself but that is up to you. Yet I can tell you, it's better than following people around. There's so many benefits of being single. Cause...

You can't be too overly confident that even if you're following things in order traditionally like go to college, get a job, get married and have kid, etc will not gurantee satisfy/fulfills you. Whether your life is in order or not, you still have a choice.

Like do things one at a time, not see everything in one big picture. If you try to see everything, you won't ever know where to start.
 

Lady Wolfshead

wishes you well
#4
It makes me feel like such a loser. I think there is something fundamentally wrong with me. Maybe I'm just too ugly or something. I look around and I see everyone around me who have either been in a relationship or are currently in one. Maybe I'm just not good enough for anybody. What can I do? Am I truly not good enough?[/QUO

*hug *console

Just focus on trying to make friends and enlarge your social circle. 25 is still very young. *hug *console
 
#5
It makes me feel like such a loser. I think there is something fundamentally wrong with me. Maybe I'm just too ugly or something. I look around and I see everyone around me who have either been in a relationship or are currently in one. Maybe I'm just not good enough for anybody. What can I do? Am I truly not good enough?
You are definitely NOT a loser. You may look around and see "couples" out there but the reality is there are a LOT of single people out there. You dont see it because you internalize your own feelings and in your mind you make it worse than it really is. Have you tried making a dating profile on like tinder or okcupid or something similar?
 

Toastofbant

Well-Known Member
#6
You are definitely NOT a loser. You may look around and see "couples" out there but the reality is there are a LOT of single people out there. You dont see it because you internalize your own feelings and in your mind you make it worse than it really is. Have you tried making a dating profile on like tinder or okcupid or something similar?
No I haven't because I don't think I'd do well on those. I think I'm fairly physically unattractive, honestly
 
#7
That 'loser' feeling is society's view of where you should be relationship wise at this point in your life. The reality is that many are feeling the same thing, and that there is no definition of what kind of relationship should be right for you, except the definition that you give.

Being alone when you don't want to be alone sucks, I can vouch for that. And without going into detail, I've been in a similar situation in my life. God, I wish someone would have told to me earlier in my life what I'm about to say to you now. "It is better to be in no relationship at all, than to be in a bad or toxic relationship." And if those around you don't share that view, or guilt you into feeling like a 'loser' because you're not with someone, than that's their sad problem.

The last thing I'm going to say also, is that sometimes in life you may eventually get what you want, but then find out it's not what you bargained for. Whatever you do, don't become someone you're not to get something you want, because you might regret it later. I wish you well, I know what your dealing with is not easy
 

Dante

Git
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#9
You're not a loser, aside from 1 HIDIOUSLY disastrous think at school, I had never been in any kind of relationship until I was 31. Youre not a loser, there are all kinds of reason you may not have been in one.
1) Lack of confidence
2) Lack of opportunity
3) You arent willing to date just ANYONE
4) You are approaching women all wrong (approach them as individuals, not a potential girlfriend)
5) Most likely: You're ALMOST at that age where the majority of women are becoming interested in kind and interesting guys rather than pseudo-dangerous / cool ones. 25 is still very young, give yourself a chance.

Some people take time to find someone, and others just grab whoever is nearest, and to me, the ones who grab whoever is nearby are the losers. Some get lucky of course, but not too many.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#10
So that you feel validated.. . Yes people go by attraction to another. Why we put our best image forward. If you would like a partner you are the right age to find another person seeking too. My experience is that people want financial security, kindness, stability, humorous, fun, sociable. Next is to go where others are seeking a partner too. Where is that these days besides dating apps? Depends on where you live. Churches, hiking groups, . . .
 
#11
I'm already 30, and I've never had a serious relationship. People say that something is wrong with you if you are a bachelor at 30. I guess I just haven't found my soulmate yet. I'm going through a long period of coming out of depression. My doctor said chatting with girls online would improve my mental health. I want to feel like a beloved partner. So I like video chats on https://www.uadreams.com/videochat/.This way, I can feel the girl's attention. She talks to me so cutely! The girl I'm dating online really wants to fly to me for Christmas. I don't mind. I'm waiting for her to buy a ticket with the money I sent her by PayPal.
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Admin
SF Supporter
#12
@Toastofbant and @andreuoverhead - you are both young. Sometimes people don’t meet the right person when they are in their teens or twenties. It doesn’t mean it will never happen. I would like to know what people are saying something is wrong with a person if they are a bachelor (or bachelorette or whatever) at 30. I knew a woman years ago who didn’t meet her husband until she was 48. She was a lovely person and pretty. Age isn’t the determining factor and not finding someone by a certain age doesn’t mean anything.

Best bets as have been noted earlier in this thread is to do things you enjoy, meet other people and make friends, go out to a few places and do things where you will meet other people who are single and maybe looking for a romantic partner.

Doing things you enjoy with friends is a boost in itself. The more people we meet in life, the more people who might introduce us to the right person as a soulmate.

I think from the way both of you express yourselves and are able to say what you hope for suggests that you are level-headed and actually quite likeable and lovable the way you are. The hard part is not to let our fears or insecurities run our show. Enjoy life and more life will come to you and be enjoyable. And the more chances you will have to find that right person. :)
 

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