I'm a bad person...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Convergence, Sep 22, 2006.

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  1. Convergence

    Convergence Guest

    I'm not really well lately. I've probably said I am, but no, I've been pretty messed up lately.

    A week or two ago, there was this child on the street. He pointed to me out of the blue and said, simply 'You are bad.'

    I didn't think anything of it at the time...but now that I reflect on it, I am a bad person.

    I don't have worth, and I'm losing what little happiness I have. I want to bleed. I deserve punishment. I am an awful person. Surely something like myself doesn't need to go so unscathed. I really need to be in pain.

    I'm disgusted in myself. I hate myself to no end. I don't have a razor with me, so I guess I'm debilitated at the moment. Nonetheless, I think it's time I hurt. It's been months, and I've been under the protection of a promise I made.

    But really, can someone stupid like me keep a promise? No...

    I'm worthless. I'll end up breaking it, and I will make that person sad. I'll let them down. Just like I always have. I am, and always will be a letdown. A loser, never go anywhere with my life. I should be dead.

    It was obvious that I wasn't wanted when my parents abandoned me. It's obvious when I wasn't talked to at school. It's obvious when I had, and still, have no friends. It's obvious when I was never liked by girls. It's obvious when I couldn't be talked to by normal people. It's obvious when I'm still the way I am.

    I need to die. It's only fair. I'm only wasting space, time, energy, or of others. I haven't really done much for anyone on this site. I'm simply...what I just said. Waste of everything.

    There are no good qualities of me. I'm a bad person. There's no reason that I should be allowed to be happy. I'm simply a fool drowning in my false sense of what I call 'reality', when i really don't have anything.

    I'm so worthless...so broken. So cracked. I can't be of anything to anyone. I want to die...and everyone wants that too...I want to hurt.

    I, am a bad person.
     
  2. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    http://www.meaningoflife.i12.com/ego.htm

    convergence, that is not your real you talking. you are worthy beyond measure and your higher self knows it!!
     
  3. Convergence

    Convergence Guest

    I doubt I'm worthy beyond measure. I appreciate the thought...but I'm just not sure.
     
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