Hello forum, I've literally been depressed and considering suicide for more than 10 years now. I hate my life and feel like a failure in so many different ways. The problem is whenever I get to feeling like I'm really going to do it, I chicken out. In part this is because I don't want to die violently or painfully, like under a bus or with a gunshot. I wish I had some good poison that would kill me peacefully while I slept. I don't want to live and I can't quite kill myself either... has anyone else ever suffered through this sort of limbo day after day?