I'm a coward

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Beirutando, Jun 19, 2014.

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  1. Beirutando

    Beirutando Member

    I've been having constant suicidal thoughts for months now: whenever I'm feeling depressed (almost everyday) I just want to put an end to all this suffering I just can't take anymore. Unfortunately I'm the biggest coward: I'm constantly looking for a suicide method but I reject them all for a reason or another.
    It usually goes like this: "I could jump from a building! Yeah but I'm scared of heights and how many storeys do you need to be sure of succeeding? 15? 20? We don't have such buildings in Rome! Mmh, pills? The success rate is so low, I don't want to hurt myself!"
    And so on. I'm always finding a reason not to choose a method and this depresses me even more because it makes me feel like the biggest coward of all times. Maybe I just need a gun. Yeah, but it's so complicated to get one here...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Maybe just maybe you don't want to die you want help to stop the sadness that is why you chose not to harm yourself There is help there is support reach out for it ok in your community at your church your doctor a therapist here keep talking here release some of the sadness that way ok
  3. Beirutando

    Beirutando Member

    I'm currently seeing a therapist (it's been five times now) but I don't know how to introduce the suicidal thoughts subject. Any advice?
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    that is not cowardice.
  5. gchicklet

    gchicklet Well-Known Member

    I just told mine what my plans were flat out....
  6. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    If you're seeing a therapist, then the best thing is to be totally honest. Say what you've said on here. That would be a good start. I know it's different when your face-to-face with someone, but unlike what your title suggests, you're not a coward at all. As a matter of fact, coming here and being so open about your thoughts is very brave; so, I know you have it in you to do the same thing with your therapist.
  7. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I wish that I was dead, but can't carry it out. I constantly think of suicide and have searched the internet. You're not alone in feeling like a coward.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 20, 2014
  8. Hatshepsut

    Hatshepsut Guest

    I hope that you always feel welcome here. You deserve the best in life.

    The writing here shows me that there's no good way to kill yourself. No matter how it's tried, it's gonna be a mess. So, I think the thing is that the thoughts are not the same as the deed. At least the thoughts are potentially revocable.

    Again, you always deserve the best.
  9. Beirutando

    Beirutando Member

    I know that'd be the best thing to do but it's hard to be open about it face-to-face with someone. How do I even bring up that kind of topic?
  10. Beirutando

    Beirutando Member

    How did you do? How did he/she react?
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