Im a failure and a fake

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by adam3092, Jan 27, 2014.

  1. adam3092

    adam3092 New Member

    Over the past three years I been feeling emptiness, anger, hate and the fear of being alone for the rest of my life. I been always trying to find an excuse of being "Content" with myself. The truth is I been angry at life and hating myself everyday as much as I could. I feel like I disappointed my father and its all my fault. Me and my father hardly communicate over personal things. He once questioned me about my love life. Yes I never had a Girlfriend or anything like that. My father is suffering from a long-term illness and for me it pains me to see him and even more as I been a not well son. I failed him and I been empty for many reasons I been suicidal many times but somehow I hold that back and not think of it. I really have lost trust in "Friends" as my mother always told me; there's no such thing as real "friends". I just feel angry and I'm always thinking of when I'm going to make a change. I'm agnostic and I felt like I been living a bullshit waste of youth. I been avoiding many people but the thing is I can't help it. Maybe this anger and resentment is finally going to consume me. I been always trying to find something that makes me happy. But in the end I feel an emptiness inside of me.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi adam perhaps it is time now while your father is living to reach out to a therapist someone that can help you move to a different path ok. One that will help you and your father to connect and one that will help you face your demons that are causing this anger and pain Hope you do that for YOU ok hugs