I'm a failure. I'm really scared and I can't even tell anyone

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by crystalclear, Jun 27, 2013.

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  1. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    I haven't been active for a few months because I was trying to sort my life out. I just got my college degree, I thought after graduating my life would finally head to the right direction. I was completely wrong.

    After graduation, my mind was so set that I would start finding a job and I'll finally make something out of my life but on such short notice we we're told that we will have a review class for a newly implemented board exam. I thought it wouldn't take long so why not give the class a shot. I have declined a job interview just so I could attend that class and I guess my momentum was thrown off track, you know since I was so set on applying for something.

    Now, it's been a month since the review class has finished (we're gonna come back for a comprehensive exam) and now I feel like all of the motivation to look for a job just left me. And you know, I 'm really really scared. I've only been to 1 interview since the class has ended. And it's not helping that these jobs that I'm applying for had nothing to do with my course. All of them are CSR/call center, yes, there's nothing wrong with being an agent but I want a job that has something to do with my degree and will give me fulfillment. And those openings that are related to my degree just requires years of experience.

    I'm even more scared at failing at being a call center agent, because I'm not really used to talking on the phone and I'm very awkward when I'm with people I don't know that well. I don't know what I'll do if I fail at this.

    I'm scared of being a failure in life. I've finished my studies and now I don't know which direction to go. I don't want to disappoint my family, they're not saying anything bad to me or anything but I feel like I'm being such a huge freeloading burden. I don't think I can tell them how I feel either.

    Even my friends don't know, some of them are feeling the same way that I do. I can't tell them what's really on my mind because they rely on me to be the optimist, I'm the one that cheers everybody on. Pathetic right? I can't even get my sh*t together and I'm worrying about them.

    Every time I see my batch mates posting a status about their work or about how they are preparing for the board exam I just can't help but fee worthless. I feel absolutely worthless. 4 yrs of education, my parents' money and effort are being wasted because I can't pull myself together. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like crying but that won't even help me with my problem. I can't tell anybody what kind of a mess I am right now.It feels like I'm a failure as a person and I don't want to be. What do I do? I just don't really know what to do anymore. I'm so so sorry if I'm not making any sense it's just... it feels like everything is going wrong. :miserable:
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and glad you decided to post...many people experience what you are going through and it does take determination to keep plugging at it...maybe a career counselor would be helpful to see what types of jobs would be the most satisfying for you to apply for...and also, maybe working in a call center to improve the skills necessary for that work would be beneficial...virtually everyone is scared when the path is not clear, so please consider that...best of luck to you and please keep us posted concerning what is going on
     
  3. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the boost. I already know what kind of job would give me fulfillment but there aren't any opening and it requires higher qualifications. I was actually planning on saving up money for a master's degree so I could work in a field that I'm really passionate about. But as you can tell I don't even have a job yet.

    The main reason why I applied as a call center is just like what you said, I saw it as an opportunity to improve my communication skills. And I guess the main reason why I'm so scared that I will fail as an agent is that my friends and family are expecting a lot from me. The pressure is just too much and I'm not even hired yet. I still have a final interview.

    I just also told a friend about how I feel. I didn't think she saw how serious I am feeling right now. I think it's partly my fault because I always wear fake cheerfulness. It's just very tiring. I can't blame her either, we are in the same situation after all and I know that she's genuinely trying to boost up my hope and confidence.

    Thank you again, I appreciate it. I guess i just need to let this out.
     
  4. prakash

    prakash Well-Known Member

    Cheer up. Think positive. Small problems must not discourage us. Keep venting here. Keep writing your feelings. Your feelings need release. Dont keep them bottled up. But be strong and God will bless you with success. This is my blessing to you, my friend !!!!
     
  5. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    I was in a similar situation not long ago at all, feeling very low and hopeless about the future. Whatever you do, when you get low ask for help. DO NOT keep it all inside. Talk to your family. I was not vocal about my feelings of hopelessness after getting out of school and I ended up in a very bad place. Things have improved, but only after I got help. My situation got pretty severe before I reached out, but whatever the severity, reach out. Nobody knew how I was feeling really, I hid it and wasn't honest. And not everybody is a winner in life. I'm certainly not and you know what that is okay with me. Would I like my life to improve? Yes. But because I am not as successful as some of my peers, does that mean I'm a total failure that doesn't deserve to be happy or have dignity? No way. Remember there is always someone out there who has screwed up worse than you. You sound like you have high standards for yourself, and that is good, but no one is perfect, and you simply don't have to be. People will still care about you and want to be around you whether your are a doctor or a janitor. In fact, I've always found the underdogs to be the most interesting and down to earth people in life. You sound like an intelligent person but just remember what I said, you can't always do it all on your own.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 7, 2013
  6. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    Oh and ignore your friends on Facebook or college or high school. Everybody just posts the positive things and skimps on the negative unless they just like the attention. Life should not be a competition even though were are socially conditioned that way. I worked in a call center after college and it is a good experience honestly and you learn a lot about people. No shame in that. Just be honest, please. I always had on the mask that everything was okay so no one ever knew how low I had gotten. Don't be like me.
     
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