i'm a failure

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by MentalMarvy, May 16, 2014.

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  1. MentalMarvy

    MentalMarvy Active Member

    I feel so messed up.... I was clean from cutting for almost 2 months.... and recently i've been cutting every few days... And i can't tell anyone about it because i don't want them to think of me as a whiny b*itch who's unappreciative of everything. I feel so hypocritical... like why can i help others when i can't even help my self?
    i tell others to look for positives and i myself can't see a lot of positives... i just don't know if i'm getting better anymore.. i feel like i'm getting worse again...
    I go to boarding school and so we have these people that are called "deans" and they're like the moms of the dorm. and i was talking briefly with one of them about not wanting to come back next year and she said to me "you need to stop being so unappreciative. there are a lot of people who worked hard for you to be here. so if you're not going to come back then you're just an unappreciative snob"
    and i was like wtf ? :Cry:
    sorry for this annoying rant i just had to get this off my chest and tell someone :/
  2. Hatshepsut

    Hatshepsut Guest

    ...And someone who cares a tiny bit about pain will follow you around enough to try to discover why you are here.

    Welcome to this forum.

    I replied to your earliest post today, when I knew less than I know now. I will be honest and admit that I do not share your experience. The world of younger people is different than mine--and I can't rely on that my own memories about being young are reliable anymore.

    But I still want to wish you the best. I hope you find people here whom you can share with, without fear of judgment. :)
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Do not let her words upset you ok she is the one that has no right to judge you and what you are feeling and to call you names how immature of her hugs to you
  4. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    Any plans or ideas what else you would like to do next year?

    harsh words from the dean there

    i relate to the saying to others: look at the positives and this and that.
    and not seeing them myself all the time
    or giving tough love but wanting affection in return
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