I don’t really know what to say. It’s just that im feeling so empty... I used to want to die, to feel the act of killing my own self, an angry feeling. But i don’t even feel that anymore. I just want to disappear, i don’t feel anger or pain. In fact, i wish i did. I never had a decent live. I mean, I have a home and all of that, good school, nice stuff. That’s all good, but is it enough? Im 16, i´ve started school at 6 and, by that time, I had no friends. Well, I didn’t even interact with other people besides my family, so it was really hard in the beginning. The other kids used to say I looked like a monkey (well, they were right, what could I say?), and I only started getting along with other children by the age of 10, 4th year in school, which means that I don’t have much “experience” in socializing. So, it got better in the next years, I had some friends. But then I went to another school, in 7th grade, where im now. People are f*cking monsters here. They don’t call me nothing (at least, in my face) but everyone ignores me. I have two friends (male, obviously, what type of girl would look at me?), and even them disappoint me all the time. At home, I think it was worse. I lived with my mother most of my life, my father is always in travel, job issues. Im so different from my mother, we are always shouting with each other. She used to hurt me, really hard (im mean physically), till 14 or something. I started reacting and she stopped. But now is psychological. Also, shy people normally are good at school… But im not. Well, I was, but in the last 4 years it has been getting much worse. Basically, im a failure. Im so different from everyone around me, I can’t even explain. And my looks, my low self confidence, my fears…. Nothing helps. I started self harming two years ago, stopped nine months ago and started again today. But I think i´ll stop, I didn’t feel any good. I feel so lonely.