I'm a faker

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by i need relief, Jun 27, 2007.

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  1. I'm here on this suicideforum, but I don't think I could ever really kill myself. I think about it a lot, how I might do it, I weigh the positives and negatives, I think about how it would give me relief, but when it really comes down to it I just wouldn't be able to do it.

    It's some kind of combination of fear of what comes after, and hope that things can somehow turn around. I don't lie when I say I'm extremely depressed and unhappy with my life, but there's still something deep inside that won't give up.

    I'm not really here looking for attention or anything. Just a place to vent my feelings and hope that others can relate.

    I guess I'm a suicideforums faker.
     
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF. You don't have to be sure you will suicide to get support on this forum. Their are many issues we deal with. Suicide is not the only one. We are glad to listen to you vent and share the way you feel. Feel free to look around the forum. Come into chat and vist with us. We are glad you are here. :hug:
     
  3. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    I think that there's quite a few people here who feel like that :hug:
     
  4. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    :welcome: to our community. I don't think you're a faker. We're all here because we have pain in our lives that we are having trouble dealing with. The fact that you don't think you could go thru with suicide doesn't make your pain any less real. Please stay around and talk to us. We'll listen and try to support you the best we can.
     
  5. ^All that goes for me as well
    and I don't think that you are a faker...as it says this is "a support forum for people in crisis" you fall into that category and there are many people here who would love to talk to you and help you in any way possible.
     
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    It doesn't matter, your in emotional pain and we all have gone or are going through it right now and know how bad it feels and we'd like to help you lessen or get rid of the pain altogether. I'm a "faker" too by the way. :smile:
     
  7. Gemma

    Gemma Member

    You're not the only one. A lot of people feel like commiting suicide and think about it. I do, I do a lot... I come up with detailed plans of how I would go through with it, I visualise my funeral, people's reactions to my death and what it would be like when I'm gone, I think about how peaceful it would be not to have to cope with any of this shit anymore. Sometimes I think about it so much it drives me crazy :( Anytime something goes wrong, even something really really small, my automatic reaction is to think about how I would kill myself. Even when everything is seemingly fine, I still think about it. Urgh, it's like the thoughts just wont leave me alone, like they're haunting me or something.

    Like you, I don't know if I actually am going to kill myself. I can't say for definite whether I will or I wont. I don't really want to commit suicide, I guess... I just don't know how much more pain I can take. I just think that maybe there will come a point where everything will be unbearable, and the pain of living would be so much worse than the pain it would take for me to die. I dunno... I feel like it's slowly building up, and maybe things are actually going to go that way, but I have no definite plans to go through with anything.

    Maybe that means I'm a faker too??
     
  8. junkie

    junkie Guest

    I've been having suicidal ideation for 20 years. I guess I'm a faker too.
     
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