I'm here on this suicideforum, but I don't think I could ever really kill myself. I think about it a lot, how I might do it, I weigh the positives and negatives, I think about how it would give me relief, but when it really comes down to it I just wouldn't be able to do it. It's some kind of combination of fear of what comes after, and hope that things can somehow turn around. I don't lie when I say I'm extremely depressed and unhappy with my life, but there's still something deep inside that won't give up. I'm not really here looking for attention or anything. Just a place to vent my feelings and hope that others can relate. I guess I'm a suicideforums faker.