Hi there,
I guess we all forget something that can rotten sometimes.....I mean, it happened to me and it really is dusgusting but it doesntmean you're revolting. Maybe you could use some help or guidance in on the household.... I dunno, you should see some student houses around here... and they are all wel grown kids, and those are real signs of negligence, they just don't have, or better make the time to clean up.
It's difficult to feel like your life is on control when you're down,it's even more difficult to see the things you do get in order, and I'm sure there are some, we just tend to overlook them, or just think, ohhh, thats something so little it doesnt count....
I don't know who you are, but I know that it is important to feel comfortable and safe at home, my sanctuary, kinda....
I hope you feel better about yourself soon, and maybe look for help in real world, for emotional support and understandig you allready are at the right place

take good care,
:hug:
helena