I'm a horrible person

Discussion in 'The Uncertainty Principle' started by Guilt, Dec 21, 2006.

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  1. Guilt

    Guilt Guest

    I am. After working all day, I have to watch my sister's kids. It takes everything just to make it through work. There's nothing left when I get home. I just want to be alone. I have no energy or patience. The kids are difficult and are either fighting, crying, or getting into something. I try to occupy them, but I just don't have the energy to deal with them and I end up yelling at them. I used to enjoy being around kids. I would offer to watch friend's and neighbor's kids, but I just can't do it anymore. I don't enjoy them. I feel terrible. I just want them to go away and they are always there. I love them so much, but I just can't cope with them or life. You probably think I should just not watch them, but then I worry about them. Are they ok? Are they being hurt? fed? Are they sad? If she had someone I could trust to watch them that would be fine, but the other people she leaves them with don't take good care of there own kids. I just feel so guilty for not being nicer and loving to them. My sister screams and is mean to them all day. I should be the fun one with them and not ever yell at them, just love them, but I can't. I hate myself. Sorry this a stupid post, but it is really bothering me.
     
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Don't worry Guilt, it's not a stupid post. No posts are stupid :hug:

    I'm sorry you feel like this.. It must be really hard to come home after a tiring day at work and then have them "difficult" children around... :( :hug: Maybe when you go home from work you could take a walk before you go watch the kids? taking a walk in a park or something can help really well.. being outside in the fresh air and alone for a bit. It can help you getting calm as well as gaining energy.

    If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me or if you're not a member, feel free to email me at ester@shooru.com

    xxx
    Ester
     
  3. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    It is ok. All posts are for a reason and mean something to us. Otherwise we wouldn't post. I am not a big fan of kids and will never have any. I just don't have the patients similar to you. It is nice that you offer to watch the kids. However we all need down time to ourselves to just unwind and relax. It is just nice to be able to not have a care in the world or have to worry.
     
  4. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Dear Guilt;

    I don't think you're a horrible person, just a human being with needs and limitations of your own. Kids are a big drain on your patience and it's hard to be kind to others, kids or not, if you can't be kind to yourself. Also it sounds like you're fatigued to the Nth degree. Hard to be patient and loving when you're that tired, physically and mentally. I should know - I've got two teenagers still at home and I feel like a horrible mother too often, but often it's not that I"m horrible, just that I'm human and my own needs are not being met. Not to mention, my kids treat me like dirt most of the time and don't help with chores and such, so too much is left to me.

    I don't think you're horrible and your post is not stupid - we're here to listen and love and support those in need; that means you!:smile: Talk to us, don't let your frustration build up to an unbearable degree.

    love,

    least
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Bloody hell Guilt..no way are you a horrible person..just a knackered one!!!
    When do you get time for yourself in all this.
    It's a shame for the kids, they are the innocent ones in this, but really your sister needs to get proper day care for them, so yoou aren't run so ragged
     
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