G
I am. After working all day, I have to watch my sister's kids. It takes everything just to make it through work. There's nothing left when I get home. I just want to be alone. I have no energy or patience. The kids are difficult and are either fighting, crying, or getting into something. I try to occupy them, but I just don't have the energy to deal with them and I end up yelling at them. I used to enjoy being around kids. I would offer to watch friend's and neighbor's kids, but I just can't do it anymore. I don't enjoy them. I feel terrible. I just want them to go away and they are always there. I love them so much, but I just can't cope with them or life. You probably think I should just not watch them, but then I worry about them. Are they ok? Are they being hurt? fed? Are they sad? If she had someone I could trust to watch them that would be fine, but the other people she leaves them with don't take good care of there own kids. I just feel so guilty for not being nicer and loving to them. My sister screams and is mean to them all day. I should be the fun one with them and not ever yell at them, just love them, but I can't. I hate myself. Sorry this a stupid post, but it is really bothering me.