Im A Horrible Person

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Anam_Cara, Nov 11, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    I'm really hating myself right now. i'm a horrible person. i was short of funds recently and what did i do? got sucked into playing an online game, which i CANT get ahead in no matter what i do. pointless waste of money and i hate myself for it. lost a loved one in september and the game became a distraction from the grief. its just gone too far. how can god forgive an idiot who wasted money when financially struggling? dont even want to LOOK at myself right now.
  2. Prophet

    Prophet Well-Known Member

    Huh, I know where you're at there. I also use an online game as a form of escapism.

    If it's the same game, maybe I can help you out but that's probably not your end goal here.

    God can forgive a person for wanting to remove themselves from the stress and pain they are in with some distraction, at least it was just a game. You're not a horrible person, trust me on this.
  3. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    I can't find anything in this post which shows a horrible person.
    Horrible people are the ones who lie, cheat, steal, behave violently, abuse others... bit of an endless list really but spending money you haven't got on an online forum game isn't on it. Honestly, it really isn't.

    You're suffering from grief and going through the grieving process. Like the previous poster said, it's a distraction/escapism and nothing more. Plus it's okay to spend money on stuff like that when you need to. We all need a break now and then. Ease up on yourself. You're over reacting to what you've done.

    It's not really up there with killing 6 million Jews in the gas chamber is it?
    Please recognise that you're suffering from grief. Then you'll be able to take steps to deal with it. Sending hugs x
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    sounds like you made a very understandable mistake.

    Can you get some grief counciling now?

    can you give up the game or do you think that it has a hold on you?
  5. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    Sorry for not replying. ive been trying to cope with alot of things. I don't feel much better about myself. but thank you (those who did reply) for bothering to. feeling worse about myself tonight in fact. nothing i do pleases what's left of my family. no matter what i do im wrong for it. tonight for expressing concern about a member of the family :blink:

    that started a fight. just was concerned and took a defensive standpoint regarding something that i felt needed addressed. yup, i got verbally eviscerated over it. threatened with family packing up and leaving me behind because im "nasty" and b**ch about things all the time. What they consider b**ching is anything that comes out of my mouth. Questions, comments, concerns, and of course any complaints i have about even LOGICAL things.

    never can express myself without getting it twisted around and made into something it wasnt intended to be. really wish id fall asleep and never wake up. cant end myself and wont, but it doesnt stop me wishing God/nature would do it for me. I hate my life and myself.
  6. Oloriel

    Oloriel Well-Known Member

    I don't think you're a horrible person. I feel the same way about myself, and I can look at what you think is wrong with you and tell you that it's okay, you're not hurting anyone, you're just trying to get by.

    They say that everything you do is wrong. I know that feeling. They're wrong about that.
  7. japanlover

    japanlover Well-Known Member

    my god is online gaming a pain to break off . The whole feeling none productive and not getting anything done. My wife put it to me like this, do you gain anything out of playing a game. I mean do you benefit in anyway with online games? With stitching a sweater you gain a piece of clothing, programming a ... program, scientist a discovery, etc. With online games there is no benefit to anyone in anyway. What do you gain by spending hours on an online game, nothing. High level character you might have in 5 years until the next best thing comes out.

    Sharing how i broke it off.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.