I'm a loser

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WingsGal, Jul 3, 2013.

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  1. WingsGal

    WingsGal New Member

    I'm almost 40 years old and I'm a loser. I have no job (and have been fired so many times, it's unlikely I can get one), no education, no kids, nothing. Every day it's a huge effort just to get out of bed and when I do - I go out to the couch and go back to sleep for a few more hours. My husband doesn't know that I've been thinking about suicide, but I think he would be better off without me. I've ruined my life and there's no way for me to change everything I messed up. I'm scared to fail at suicide and have something else that I'm bad at and then let others know that I tried and failed...again. I'm not sure what to do with myself, but I can't keep going on like this. I'm just a loser.
  2. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums, WingsGal. Sorry it is under these circumstances. It is a very difficult place when we realise the position we are in life is not what we hoped it would be. There is not much we can change about the past other than learn from it. Although there is not much you can do about what you don't have or haven't done, there is still time to live a life that you feel is worthy. Decide what you think is important and make goals towards achieving them. It is hard under the circumstances to feel that we're not good enough but he is your husband and has stuck by you so far, so that shows something. Hugs.
  3. KevMit

    KevMit New Member

    What's done, is done!
    You can't change the past... but you can change yourself.
    You've probably been struggling, trying to make sense of everything and find some peace for yourself, but have come up empty-handed (like so many others).

    Suïcide is a conveniënt solution, but it's definitely NOT the only solution!
    You CAN make things better, but not by sitting around and waiting for it to get better.
    You have to look inside yourself to find out who you are. It's not easy, but it is absolutely worth it!
    Everybody is always fighting within themselves against their "demons".
    What no one understands, is that the "demons" are a part of them... defeating them, means defeating a piece of yourself, thus creating a bigger problem, within.
    Understanding them and accepting them will give you the insight to change them, thus changing yourself so you become stronger!
    It requires some energy from you, but not as much as having to fight all the time.
    And as an extra "bonus", you learn more about yourself, who you are... and who you want to become.
    The first step is the hardest... but when you have taken it, you will start to see things in a diffirent way, which makes everything a little bit easier to understand and solve.

    I've had my share of meds, psychs, docs, etc... and they all let me down.
    One even told me to my face that i was hopeless. I proved him wrong!
    Took me over 4 years, but i finally did it on my own.
    Because of that, i learned a lot about myself and the world we all live in, today.
    I guess what i'm trying to say is, you don't have to do it all alone. I'm sure you have a lot of questions and few (or none) answers.
    I don't have all the answers, myself... but should you ever be in need of answer, just ask me... if i don't have it, i'll help you search for it!
  4. Inker19

    Inker19 Well-Known Member

    Hey, you made it to 40. I won't.
  5. Neverforget

    Neverforget Member

    It's never too late to start over in life. Who says you cannot get a GED or go to college after 40? One of my real life heroes did not get his degree until he was 55. Today at the age of 75 he's a happily practicing therapist.

    Congratulations on making it to 40! As a woman you are entering the peak of your life.
  6. thegibbo

    thegibbo New Member

    I have felt this way about 20, 30, 40.

    I am now getting close to 39, and so 40 is staring me in the face. I really find it hard to believe, but here i am. While I do not look forward to being 40 (because I miss my young self, despite how I felt at the time), I hope I get there. It will be a nice "screw you!" to my disease.

    Why do you you think you won't make it to 40?
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