I have a chronic illness and the effects are kinda like the female menopause, hot flushig, irregular body temp and generally feeling ill 247. My illness came about after misusing roaccutane a treatment for acne when I was around 13. Never had sex or been close to a female and feel totaly alienated from the opposite sex. Ever since 20 I realized my only "realistic" chance of fulfilling my sexual desires was to see an escort. But I was devastated to find that an escort would not see me due to my illness and me been a complicated client they just don't want to deal with me. Now I feel like a total lost cause and I feel wasted and suicidle. My sexual desires are a burden and it's driving crazy as I can't fulfill them, It's really eating me up! Doesn't help I live in a sexed crazed world and I just can't get a piece of the action . I seem to be developing ill feelings towards the opposite sex because I feel abandoned and not given the time of day even by a escort. How messed up is that! I guess the world moves too fast and spares no thought for someone in my shoes. And worst thing is I'm a good honest guy never stood on others toes to get what I want, but hey you get nothing for been a good descent person, just a pat on the back. I'm just a lost cause now and the only way to end my constant suffering and torment is by suicide. I would prefer to seek legally assisted suicide abroad, but I feel unable to travel. Been realistic I know suicide is inevitable one day. In the mean time the thought of suicide is a comfort for me.