I just don't know enough to say though. I purge probably on average every other day. I have gone periods where I don't purge for a maybe a week. Then other times, where I purge every day for a week or two straight. Sometimes multiple times in a day. Certain days I'll eat next to nothing, and some days I'll eat like crazy. It's a never ending cycle of purging and excercising until I like what I see in the mirror. Then eating until I hate myself. Then purging and excercising... etc... It's really exhausting to be honest. There's no happy medium... not even close. I don't remember the last time where there was any structure in my eating. I remember starting to worry about my weight more than the average person (especially males) back in maybe 8th grade (I'm 20 now). It's just progressively gotten worse since then. It's all I think about now. It's really out of control. I wake up thinking about it, it's always in my head during the day, I go to sleep thinking about it, and then it happens all over again. I'm always obsessed with looking in the mirror to see if I look bloated. I can't take it anymore. I'm starting to think I'm seeing fat that isn't really there. I always think I'm gaining weight, but people never seem to notice. Recently, I saw friends for the first time in a few months, and they made several comments on how they thought I had LOST WEIGHT! I've lost 5 pounds, but I'm pretty sure it's just muscle. As I have cut down significantly on lifting lately (for no specific reason). Muscle weighs more than fat, so I attribute it to that. Maybe I'm just lying to myself? I recently had a cat scan done on my abdomen. Apparently due to dehydration, a lack of fiber, and grain (probably due to the fasting and purging). I am suffering severe stomache pains and blockage in my intestines. Making it difficult for my body to digest food. That could also be why I purge, and always feel bloated. Or, I just did that to myself by purging and fasting. I can't tell. I also drink quite heavily as well, and suffer from depression. I'm just throwing these things out there. Sorry for ranting. I'm kind of in a panic.