'I'm a risk to myself at Christmas'

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by lost soul, Dec 23, 2006.

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  1. lost soul

    lost soul Guest

    By Jane Elliott
    Health reporter, BBC News




    Hospital often see admissions increase in the New Year
    As millions of Britons prepare for the festive season, for a minority fun and laughter is the last thing on their minds.

    For some people with mental health problems, the season of jollity is so stressful it can tip them over the edge.

    Psychiatrists report an increase in admissions in the immediate aftermath of the holiday period.

    For John, who does not want his full name revealed, the whole festive season is mired in miserable memories, including of an unhappy childhood and of a suicide attempt.

    Stress

    The build-up to Christmas usually starts in September for John - and its effect lasts until early February.

    During this time his depression and mental illness always get worse.

    "I have schizophrenia and schizophrenia affective disorder and although I have to battle with severe mental illness all year round, Christmas is more unbearable because of memories of abuse by a parent," said John.

    For a three-week period over Christmas and the New Year, John needs to be sedated to minimise the risk to himself.

    I can feel my anxiety levels starting to rise, which increases the risk to my personal safety

    John

    "I am a suicide risk at other times, but at Christmas the risk is greater and as it approaches I can feel my anxiety levels starting to rise, which increases the risk to my personal safety.

    "Christmas causes major distress for many people like myself.

    "Not only is most of the country engaged in jollity and festive cheer, but the country also seems to go into total shut-down mode.

    "Services and drop-in centres close, friends and people around you tend to go incommunicado and spend time with family, and the psychiatric wards take on a very different feel, as doctors and nurses try to send all those who can go home home, making them even more difficult places to be.

    "The worst times that I have had in hospital have been those in and around Christmas and the New Year because there is virtually no-one there."

    Tense

    Another person who has had a problem with Christmas is Edward Jones, 58, from Somerset.

    Edward has schizophrenia, as did his mother, and he said this has made for very difficult Christmases in the past.

    "Christmas with my mother invited to the extended family get together was a bit tense.

    "Finally, when the kids were about two and four, my ex-wife's grandmother put in a request that my mother not be invited to these events in future, because of her laconic, non-participative behaviour being an 'embarrassment'.

    "I acceded to the request because I wanted the kids to get as much exposure to their great-grandmother as possible.


    "However, I was deeply hurt and offended.

    "Thereafter, I used to go and see my mother alone on Christmas Eve - a very tense and intense meeting in her flat over the far side of town in premises that felt like a replica of those of Miss Haversham in Great Expectations.

    "Once the Christmas Eve event was over, Christmases were OK except for my inner sadness at my mother's exclusion, even though we didn't get along at all.

    "Looking back, it must be a common dilemma of many friends and relatives of those with schizophrenia; hopefully less so with current progress in education and media focus."

    This year Edward plans to spend Christmas alone, reminiscing on memories of his son who was killed in a car crash last year.

    "I have set Christmas Day aside as a cry day, that does not mean I will cry, but I could.

    "It is a time to reflect."

    Hospitals

    Dr Mike Isaac, consultant psychiatrist at south London's Maudsley hospital, said it was a fact that for mentally ill people, like Edward and John, Christmas can prove extremely stressful.

    "I think that part of the problem with Christmas is that there is nothing they can do about it.

    "Christmas is just there. Also it falls on one of the shortest days of the year, which can affect some people."

    [Christmas] is the time when lots of places used by people with mental health problems close their doors and many do not open them again until January

    Dr Mike Isaac

    Dr Isaac said psychiatric hospitals regularly see an influx of patients in January, patients for whom the stress of the festive period has proved too much.

    "January is one of the busiest times for admissions.

    "Another problem about Christmas is it is the time when lots of places, used by people with mental health problems close their doors and many do not open them again until January."

    Dr Isaac said there was a slight increase noted among suicide levels.

    He added that other religious festivals such as Diwali and Eiid do not have the same impact on stress levels.

    "Everything does not shut-down in the country for these the same way as it does for Christmas," he said.

    Isolation

    Paul Corry, Rethink's director of public affairs said: "Christmas can be a difficult time of year for everyone and be fraught with tensions that exacerbate existing mental health problems.

    "People with severe mental illness can become very isolated if their usual support services shut down over the holiday period.

    "What helps is having access to the right kind of help, such as seeing a GP or therapist, early on."

    Anyone needing help over the Christmas period can call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90.
     
  2. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Christmas is very depressing for me - seeing all these happy people when I do not feel happy myself is very hard. I have loving supportive family and friends, but still feel unloved and unwanted too often, and especially during these "family" holidays. I attend, for fear of being yelled at and upsetting the family, but just feel worse during and after the day. I mostly put on a happy face and say little, just eat and socialize and play games and then go home and cry.

    I was raised to believe in the true meaning of Christmas, but don't feel (anymore) like a child of God but more like an outcast from the human race.

    Merry Christmas, bah humbug.

    least
     
  3. Robin

    Robin Guest

    A very interesting read Lost :hug:
     
  4. TG123

    TG123 Well-Known Member

    Thank you for sharing this, Robin.

    Cristo Vive!
    - Tomasz
     
  5. When have I ever been more of a risk to myself than right now. I hope that those who can get help during this horrifying season can get the help they need.
     
  6. TG123

    TG123 Well-Known Member

    Hey leastofthese,

    Often I also feel the same way, and it's hard for me to see the friends I have. They are also great and loving and supportive, but I see them so rarely. I saw 3 of them this evening and won't for another few months b/c they live outside of Winnipeg. I love my family and they love me but sometimes it's hard to talk to them.

    Sometimes I also feel that I am so far away from God, that I always just mess up and can never serve Him. I pray and feel like I am getting nothing back. Sometimes I feel like no matter what I do, I don't help others enough or live my life the way He wants me to.

    I don't have too many friends and I had someone very close to me who I thought was a best friend and when she broke off contact it hurt so much. I feel like I deserved it, I guess I wanted to be around her all the time and she didn't want that. I thought she liked me as much as I liked her, and obviously she did not and I am an idiot and now I feel so alone- although I have some other very good friends who I see maybe once in a while but it's like nothing can replace that feeling.

    It's like I'm such a loser, I just scare people away from me. I began a Christian social justice group on campus (I'm a University student) with her, almost no one came out to our events and now it looks like it's over with her. I feel I have failed God as well. I began this group with her intending to defend human rights and help people in need and advocate against war and to proclaim His glory- now nothing has come of it. We marched against war in Afghanistan in October and planned to do things over Christmas, now it won't happen.
    I try to get people involved in social justice events but most just ignore me or think I'm a loon. It's like figting an uphill battle. For a while I thought there would be 2 loons and maybe we'd get more people out but because I'm such an idiot and don't even know how to be a friend without unintentionally scaring people off (I'm so stupid) I've failed this friendship and I failed serving God.

    I am a f-ing loser and I don't feel like I deserve God's love or grace. At the same time, I do know that in spite of me being such a messup, He still loves me. And I keep on trying to help others and proclaim His glory even though I can't do anything right.

    I guess my point is that I know how you feel, and I also know that God loves you. If you believe in Him and are trying to serve Jesus and help others around you, then even when you feel terrible about yourself (I know that feeling) try to keep in mind that He does love you and is there for you, even if you don't feel it. Jesus died on the cross for you and is standing by you.

    He will never leave you. Maybe try praying to Him or reading Scripture or listening to Praise&Worship music. These things often help me feel better when I am down.

    God is with you, leastofthese. He cares about you and so do I and so many other people on this forum and in your life.

    You are in my prayers.

    Cristo Vive!
    - Tomasz
     
  7. TG123

    TG123 Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear from you, BP. How are you doing?

    Cristo Vive!
    - Tomasz
     
  8. Somewhat better now.
     
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