I like my boyfriend. I don't quite love him though. I keep him thinking I did though, because I don't want to be alone and I don't want him to be alone. I like my ex so much more than my boyfriend and I actually feel something for him. In the holidays, my ex and I kept sending each other messages all day, some more "usual" than others. He once promised me to "play" with me (okay, actually more than just once, but only once in the holidays) if you know what I mean (note: I'm not too young. Please don't try to change my mind about that in general, I won't listen '^^). I would really like to meet up with my ex and it makes me feel guilty to even think about betraying my boyfriend... I know that the relationship will end at last when I'll study, so I know this won't be forever anyway, but still I can't leave him or so because I don't want to break his heart (again.....) :/ My boyfriend is a nice guy and I know that he's a lot better for my mental health than my ex could ever be, but I somehow feel like I can't be happy without my ex (and I'd be really really really sad if I were alone :/) I'm terrible, right? I somehow want to know if there's some others out there that are in a similar situation or already got over it. I guess I need some good advice on how to go on... Or I'll be stuck with this situation until I can study and move there and find friends and all that (a fresh start is what I'd really need now. Well, I'll get through the next 3 years of school somehow).