I deserve to die because I am a terrible person. This isn't a statement I'm making because I'm depressed, I'm not really sure I am depressed. I'm more anxious than depressed and underpinning the anxiety are these overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame. I don't know whether to tell you what I've done. I don't want any extra hate - I hate myself enough already. But, believe me, it isn't a little thing. The thing is, nobody but me knows what I've done. I'm carrying all this shame and guilt silently and it is killing me. Somedays are slightly better than others but more and more, all I think about is dying. It would come as such a shock to everyone though, because it's only my secret making me feel like this. It would destroy my mum and dad and brothers. I just don't know what to do because I don't think I can live like this, but it's not an option to tell the truth. That's why I keep coming back to the idea of suicide. It feels like my only option.