Oh I hope I can find some help. I know most here are also in some sort of event otherwise we would probably be enjoy a nice movie or something similar.
Background:
40yo male, good job, nice home, dogs, toys (too many-get to that later), demanding of others. Wife (not sure about this relationship) and a 18month old that may have a social development problem which we will know more about on Friday. The latter is what really set me off.
I seem to operate off of triggers, if everything in my life is smooth I am a wonderful person but any hiccup and I get so $%^&*( upset and I cannot stress it. Most of the time I take it in stride because I have responsibilities.
I failed at so many things in life that nowadays with every decision I ensure it is studied to death to avoid any problem.
I know I have some sort of insecurity-not sure really why. I need to have a better car, better computer, win arguments, better this and that,etc etc etc.
I generally like people with exception to those that do not agree with me-sound familiar to anyone?:biggrin:
I occasionally wonder what it is like to kill someone though the thought of it is unsettling unless it is some gangbanger or someone else that I feel deserves it.:unsure:
With the recent developments or lack of with my son I am now feeling cornered again. Is it vaccines (the nurse did it), something the wife did-perhaps something I did.
I am not sure and do not know how to even go on. The anxiety is pushing me over the top. I take sleeping pills at night to get sleep (Lunesta is great stuff BTW).
I do have an appointment in THREE weeks to see a head doctor. I asked for someone with some experience and not some college grad that thinks they know the answer to the universe. Sense some hostility in there also?
I am just rambling I suppose, not sure if this will do any good.
But, thanks for viewing it.
OK, time to go and curse out God again.
:ohmy:
Background:
40yo male, good job, nice home, dogs, toys (too many-get to that later), demanding of others. Wife (not sure about this relationship) and a 18month old that may have a social development problem which we will know more about on Friday. The latter is what really set me off.
I seem to operate off of triggers, if everything in my life is smooth I am a wonderful person but any hiccup and I get so $%^&*( upset and I cannot stress it. Most of the time I take it in stride because I have responsibilities.
I failed at so many things in life that nowadays with every decision I ensure it is studied to death to avoid any problem.
I know I have some sort of insecurity-not sure really why. I need to have a better car, better computer, win arguments, better this and that,etc etc etc.
I generally like people with exception to those that do not agree with me-sound familiar to anyone?:biggrin:
I occasionally wonder what it is like to kill someone though the thought of it is unsettling unless it is some gangbanger or someone else that I feel deserves it.:unsure:
With the recent developments or lack of with my son I am now feeling cornered again. Is it vaccines (the nurse did it), something the wife did-perhaps something I did.
I am not sure and do not know how to even go on. The anxiety is pushing me over the top. I take sleeping pills at night to get sleep (Lunesta is great stuff BTW).
I do have an appointment in THREE weeks to see a head doctor. I asked for someone with some experience and not some college grad that thinks they know the answer to the universe. Sense some hostility in there also?
I am just rambling I suppose, not sure if this will do any good.
But, thanks for viewing it.
OK, time to go and curse out God again.
:ohmy: