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I'm about to lose it. What is going on with me?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by jipjoe, Jul 23, 2008.

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  1. jipjoe

    jipjoe Member

    Oh I hope I can find some help. I know most here are also in some sort of event otherwise we would probably be enjoy a nice movie or something similar.

    Background:
    40yo male, good job, nice home, dogs, toys (too many-get to that later), demanding of others. Wife (not sure about this relationship) and a 18month old that may have a social development problem which we will know more about on Friday. The latter is what really set me off.

    I seem to operate off of triggers, if everything in my life is smooth I am a wonderful person but any hiccup and I get so $%^&*( upset and I cannot stress it. Most of the time I take it in stride because I have responsibilities.

    I failed at so many things in life that nowadays with every decision I ensure it is studied to death to avoid any problem.

    I know I have some sort of insecurity-not sure really why. I need to have a better car, better computer, win arguments, better this and that,etc etc etc.

    I generally like people with exception to those that do not agree with me-sound familiar to anyone?:biggrin:

    I occasionally wonder what it is like to kill someone though the thought of it is unsettling unless it is some gangbanger or someone else that I feel deserves it.:unsure:

    With the recent developments or lack of with my son I am now feeling cornered again. Is it vaccines (the nurse did it), something the wife did-perhaps something I did.

    I am not sure and do not know how to even go on. The anxiety is pushing me over the top. I take sleeping pills at night to get sleep (Lunesta is great stuff BTW).

    I do have an appointment in THREE weeks to see a head doctor. I asked for someone with some experience and not some college grad that thinks they know the answer to the universe. Sense some hostility in there also?

    I am just rambling I suppose, not sure if this will do any good.
    But, thanks for viewing it.
    OK, time to go and curse out God again.
    :eek:hmy:
     
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