I'm addicted

[Fat&Fckedup]

I'm 20 years old. I wear size 26 clothes. I weigh 22 stone.

I cant stop eating.

I am so miserable, I have social anxiety disorder so being locked in my house, miserable, with food as my only comfort, I am stuck in a cycle.

I hate myself.. I always have. Even whilst I'm shovelling food into my mouth I am disgusted at myself, I am knowing that I should stop, but I keep going, even while I think about how gross it is.

I don't smoke & I don't drink alcahol.

My boyfriend dumped me recently, for unrelated reasons ok.. but my self esteem hit on top of my already acute depression and suicidal thoughts means that I've been driven to food.

I am so ashamed and I can't stop. I have tried using laxatives, tried making myself be sick, tried sleeping through large periods of time so I don't eat.. none of that works.

If junk food isn't brought into the house then I will (after a few days of obsessing about food) even force myself to go out (even though it gives me anxiety attacks) to buy some.


I cant sleep, cant go out, Im so ashamed of myself.

Help me!

 

[fence]

COE (compulsive over eating) is an eating disorder in itself. There will be support groups out there for it and lots of professional help, try looking into it.

Also try to raise your self esteem. If you google 'ways to improve your self esteem' lots of things come up that you could do to help yourself.

As for eating, you could try only having healthy things in, so that when you eat, it's healthy foods, you could try finding ways to pass the time and stop you focusing on food (such as a hobby, or a project, anything like that), you could also try drinking water whenever you want to eat and it's not a mealtime.

Purging, laxis, restricting and things will only make thing worse for you because they will confuse your metabolism and make you feel the need to eat even more, the best thing to do is to try to eat healthy (if you are eating vast amounts, try,m like I said, to do it with healthy foods) and get some professional help.

I don't know if you are who I think you are, but if you are you might guess who I am when I say that I don't wish bad things for you, I hope things improve. If you're not who I think you are, then that still applies, lol. Ok, I'm confused now. Try to reach out for help.

Take care of yourself.