I'm 20 years old. I wear size 26 clothes. I weigh 22 stone. I cant stop eating. I am so miserable, I have social anxiety disorder so being locked in my house, miserable, with food as my only comfort, I am stuck in a cycle. I hate myself.. I always have. Even whilst I'm shovelling food into my mouth I am disgusted at myself, I am knowing that I should stop, but I keep going, even while I think about how gross it is. I don't smoke & I don't drink alcahol. My boyfriend dumped me recently, for unrelated reasons ok.. but my self esteem hit on top of my already acute depression and suicidal thoughts means that I've been driven to food. I am so ashamed and I can't stop. I have tried using laxatives, tried making myself be sick, tried sleeping through large periods of time so I don't eat.. none of that works. If junk food isn't brought into the house then I will (after a few days of obsessing about food) even force myself to go out (even though it gives me anxiety attacks) to buy some. I cant sleep, cant go out, Im so ashamed of myself. Help me!