Hi, I'm Emily, I'm 20 years old. I have been sitting at work, not doing my job, but rather reading a book because I have no motivation. The only reason I get out of bed in the morning is for my parents and my boyfriend, because I know if I didn't, it would make them angry or hurt them. I don't want to hurt people. I want to curl into a ball and disappear, I want to sleep for weeks or months and wake up new and fresh and happy. I'm not happy. I'm sitting at work, not doing my job, wondering if I'll make it until tomorrow... or if I'll call my drug dealer after a couple months of staying clean... or if I'll just run my car off the road on the drive home. I'm really glad I found this site, it makes me sort of, almost, hopeful.