After a particularly traumatic day today, I've declared for the last time that I've lost my battle with depression. I'm sorry that I have failed you all. My mind does not want to get better, it has decayed and broken to a point where recovery is simply impossible. My mind refuses treatment, it refuses anything short of a cure. I tried to fight it, but in the end, the depression won. Perhaps I just looked for treatment too late. My mind is so broken at this point that I'm a danger to people around me. I've considered terrible things today, things I don't want to speak about to anyone for you all would see me as a monster if I did. I do not know if I will commit suicide or if I will simply let my mind and body decay until I just die, but one thing is for certain, there is only one cure for me, and that is to cease living. I'm going to immediately give my rebuttals to some of the posts I will immediately get. No, a psychiatrist will not help me, nor will a hospital. I will simply toss aside the advice they give me and go on with my misery. It is how my mind is now, refusing treatment, only accepting a cure which does not exist. I can not be happy, it is a simple impossibility. Life is not worth living. At least...Mine isn't. Thank you all for trying to help me, I am sorry I could not be helped, and that I failed you all.