I've had suicide thoughts for years. Within the last two years they have become worse. But recently in the last couple weeks and days they're really intense. I have a week off and have a plan written in stone. I have a suicide note. To be honest, I plan on doing it tonight. Another day won't make a difference. I've let most of my fears go and really really do want to go through with this. I can't keep holding on and wishing for things to get better. I'm 20 years old and have no future. All I've ever wanted is to be happy and needed.