Lovebeing - I could probably go on all night about my response to the video you've shared in the link in your post. I'm referring to the Kosi video in this post. First off, I think the video is well done and I really like and enjoy the nature scenes and the serenity of the narrator's voice.
Unfortunately, after a few minutes, I find the philosophical perspective lacking in many ways and really only asking more and more questions without really providing any solid answers. I don't mean to sound rude, but what the hell... I'm only here for a couple more weeks so I'll speak my mind... the video was kind of a religious infomercial. I was a bit surprised I didn't see a toll free number to call at the end of the production.
Who am I really? That is the question asked repeatedly throughout the video. Who am I really? Now, I realize this is a deep question and can be answered on many different planes of existence and perspectives. But, in the video, if I recall correctly, we're encouraged to keep asking this question and basically strip away all of our identities, all of what we do to gain the "approval and acceptance" of others. And what is left is essentially nothingness except an understanding we're all connected. But connected to what? To each other? Ok, fine, I can accept even that. But, if we assume we're all connected to one another, then without drawing any limits on that connection, we're connected to all aspects of each other's being... good and bad. And, since we're connected to both good and bad, for some of us, the good will win out, for others the bad will win out. For me, the bad has won out. When I say bad, I'm not referring to bad in the sense of dishonest, or criminal, or hurtful. Rather, I refer to bad in terms of the many many flaws that I have. The flaws of anxiety, depression, lonliness, solitude, and desparation. These flaws simply push others away from me time and time again. I don't blame anyone for that; hell I want to get away from me too. But, the bottom line is I can accept we're all connected. But, I also accept nobody's perfect, and if we're all connected, then we're all connected to the good and bad of everyone. And, in my case, I have a stronger connection to the "bad" or human flaws.
Now, I would also like to comment on another part of the video. This was the portion referring to our thoughts. Or specifically, we have thoughts that "latch" (my term, not the video) onto something... some object of desire, or concept to gain others' approval, and so on. And, furthermore, the video suggests that we should lose all wants and desires, that this desire to possess something (material, spiritual, conceptual, etc) is what causes so much of our distress. When taken to extremes, a desire to possess anything can of course cause distress. However, to lose all attachment to these thoughts and/or desires would imply we simply lose our desire for any level of approval or acceptance. Is that really freedom? Are we really free if we simply do not care at all about any acceptance from society as a whole and specific individuals? No. To lose any desire for acceptance, even if it's in the name of our own health or peacefulness, isn't freedom at all. It's isolation. I'm pretty sure Ted Bundy had absolutely no desire whatsoever to gain any kind of acceptance from society nor did he have any desire about acceptance from any individuals. Yet, I would hardly consider his life an example of someone who was free.
The simple matter is this... our mind latches onto certain things because we are HUMAN. And, being human means we are a physical being. I'll even agree that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. But, any way you cut and slice it, our human vessel that takes us through this journey has needs. The need for food (hunger) the need for water (thirst) etc etc. When my mind latches onto the thought I'm hungry and I MUST eat, I can train and train and train my mind to drop that thought. There can only be 2 outcomes to that. One, because I continue to be hungry, the thought comes back. And eventually I eat Or, two, I do successfully let go of that thought, pushing "I'm hungry" out of my consciousness, and don't eat and eventually starve. There is no third option. Why? Because we are HUMAN and we MUST eat... no amount of mind training will stop that.
So, my mind latches onto the fact (it's not a concept, it's not a theory) that I'm lonely. And little by little, that lonliness grows.. gnaws away at me little by little. The lonliness is an alarm. It tells me something is wrong. It tells me that as a human, I am a social creature. We all are. We desire other humans, contact, and close relationships. Without them, we wither and die. I don't have them. I cannot form them. I am withering. I will die soon. Period. I could train my mind to push this thought of lonliness away. But, since companionship is needed for humans, all I will succeed in doing is bottling up an unmet need. And the longer a need goes unmet, the stronger and more desperate it becomes. Eventually, the pain pushes forward, and I realize my need for companionship, acceptance, deep relationships, friendship, family, and on and on simply has not been met. And now, at 45 years of age, with so much of that not being met, the desperation, the futility, the sadness has simply run me over like a bus making its rounds. I am defeated. Instead of fighting the defeat, I accept it. I accept lonliness is the hallmark of my life. I accept my slowness, my disgusting pasty white fat miserable body. I am NOT an alpha male. I am not a leader of the pack. I do not roam this earth with great confidence that I belong and can adapt anywhere and find my own "pack". No, I shuffle through scared and afraid; beaten and battered by all of my life's defeats and rejections. It's a pitiful site; I no longer even wonder why I cannot find any sort of companionship to end my lonliness. I even take less and less comfort in the fact that I've made so much money for the company I work for... that the top level execs can live in their McMansions and drive around in $100k cars. I used to see that and be proud that those wonderful possessions were all from my hard work. But, the gnawing feeling kept creeping up... the hard work, the lost weekends, the lost opportunities for friendship, the lost relationships because I just wasn't around... finally has spilled over emotionally for me.
But, I can end the misery and suffering. And I shall; I just need to finish getting my affairs in order. I am content; I am at peace. I am even a little happy, if anyone can believe that.
Back to my thoughts on our (human) desires and needs. Just think if you didn't eat for a week. How strong would that hunger be? I'd probably gnaw away at tree bark or a new set of snow tires or something. Think if you had no girlfriend or wife, etc (I'm a male, so I'll use girlfriend/wife in this example) for decades. Well, measure that against the hunger you may feel after not eating for a week... and you get some sort of an idea of my angst.
Yes, this is long and I touch on a lot of things. And, it's 2:30 in the morning so I'm a bit sleepy which makes my focus a little weak. However, in this short time, I can find what I would consider 2 major flaws in this film's philosophy. I'll watch it again tomorrow and I'm sure I'll come up with more.
Now, about a duty to die. You've said nobody has a duty to die. Well, I disagree. I only bring others down with my dour moods, desperation for some kind of friendship, and so on. I don't help society at all; I really can't help. I'm usually too weak or tired to even muster up any desire. My entire life force is spent working relentlessly to make more and more precious money for the company I work for. Today, for example, was somewhat typical. An 11 hour day, dashing back and forth between customer sites, no lunch, no break until about 730 this evening when I finally left for the day. And, I was about to fall over and go to sleep when I did leave. Back home, in my rocker, too tired to even think of reaching out to someone. Tomorrow is Saturday (or actually it already is) and I already have several more customers lined up. I know our upper management is all smiles... they have the day off in their beach houses, boats, expensive cars, and they can show everyone how "successful" they are; yet I'll slave away. My company will charge someone double time for my services, yet I won't get paid that. Hell, I won't even get to sit down and have a fucking lunch on a Saturday.
Welcome to my world. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to stay.
