My mind is twisting and swirling with no rest. These continuous "flashes" of self destruction make living easier and harder at the same time. I have already tried every possibile help available but nothing helps. Nothing works. I dont know what to do anymore. What do i do with myself? Not even sure i'm real, my feelings are real, my thoughts are real... Do i even exist? Im afraid of doing something bad, losing that bit of control remained and losing my mind. I dont want that. I am very and seriously wrong inside with no hope. Lost, confused, in pain, horrendously disturbing inside. I cannot even describe it. Just this feeling of being unhelpably wrong, bad, hopeless. Hurting and hurtful for everyone. I cant stand myself, life, nothing anymore... Please some support... Please.