Just dont know how much longer i can hold on i been holding on for years. But im at a point in my life where i just want to be at peace....my whole life has been a hell. No matter how hard i tried, no matter how nice i was to people no matter how positive i was, this world always ended up spitting back at me and im sick of it. What im feeling is not a emotion, all i do is close my eyes and day dream living in my imagination cause thats where im actually happy. I dont want cars, money, clothes, fame, women, or any of the typical american dream. All i want is to be happy and those things at the end of the day will not help me reach my goal. All i want is peace. I only want to keep living for my family but when i lose them (its close) i will have nothing, and nothing to live for. I do have the will to live but im losing it.