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Don't explode, it leaves a mess
I know being alone can be hell, just got myself together again after several weeks of baing sad/angry 24/7 a bit of cursing and ranting on here helped me a bit, it's always better then bashing my head to the wall
Use writing as a distraction. Come on here and reply to loads of people (that's what I do) write a blog (i do that also). I find writing a good distraction as keeps my fingers and my brain busy.
Music is also really important to me and I use that as distractions.
I know what it's like to have a boyfriend who doesn't understand. My ex once said to me "have you tried just being happy". It didn't go down to well. It's really hard to explain it to someone.
Try another GP. Sometimes it can take a couple before you find one you can get on with and one who understands you, or one you can manipulate in to giving you what you want Ask for a referral to a psych.
You need to get out of that mind set as it damage you.
Tell yourself you are worth it. I have worked with many different people and some are not worth it but you do your job and give them what they need anyway. But you are worth it and you deserve to be treated.