I'm always Ms. Not-Good-Enough for her

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by teardrops87, Feb 5, 2011.

  1. teardrops87

    teardrops87 Member

    I'm sick and tired of this life. I feel that I need someone to talk to but I always find it too hard to write anything on this forum since i'm too lazy and do not bother to write. I feel guilty of annoying people with my problems.

    I feel like a failure and a loser. My mum constantly criticises me no matter what I do. I never meet up to her standards. She once told me that no matter what I do in life I will never make her happy. She criticises my weight, for her I'm either too thin or too fat. I have a post-grad degree and I've been looking for a job for just one month. She started complaining that I'll never find a job since I'm a good for nothing. She's always nagging me cos I'm 23 and I'm still single. She tells me that since I have not settled down with anyone by age 20 I will never marry. Now I have never told her that I'm gay. Only a few very close friends know about it. I'm still going to do my best to find a nice man to settle down with and marry and have kids cos I want to please her. She says hurtful things to me all the time. Then when I bring a boyfriend home to meet my family she never likes him. The problem is that he's either not handsome enough, rich enough or intelligent enough. So I leave him and then she tells me that I'm unable to make a guy stay with me.

    I try my best to go on with life. I never told her I'm depressed and for that reason I never went to anyone for help. She doesn't know I think about and want to commit suicide so badly. I never cry in front of her and pretend not to get hurt by her bitter hateful comments. She even criticises my dad and his family, and her family as well. It seems that no one around her pleases her at all. It is true that she sometimes supports me but I don't know...I never seem to reach up to her standards, and never will.

    She also hates my friends. She is a housewife and to be honest she does a lot of work in the house like cleaning and cooking but she spends a lot of time gossiping about our neighbours. Then she starts comparing our life with theirs and there she goes again putting me down. I can't stand this anymore. At times my problems seem trivial compared to others' but at other times I feel overwhelmed :( Thing is that I''m an adult, I will soon be getting a job and a car and maybe start planning to move out of my family's house. But I still feel like a 3 year old wanting to get mom's approval.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The sooner you move out the better off you will be you need to find your own space get out of the toxic environment and start living life for you okay hugs
     
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You shouldn't base your life on what she says or thinks.. Speak up when she gets on you.. Tell her to quit being so spitefull..Anyhow you will be moving out soon so why not just avoid her.. When it comes to men, find one who makes you happy..It doesn't matter what she thinks..Or even find yourself a GF..It's your life so don't let anyone dictate how you live it..You do sound a little down.. Maybe a therapist can help you find peace of mind..
     
  4. the_only_one

    the_only_one Well-Known Member

    if your gay, dont go find a man, you wont truley be happy, for your mom, she can get over it. just leave and find a good person to settledown with, makes you happy, your mom cant stop you. your your own person, not her slave
     
  5. LipsOfDeceit

    LipsOfDeceit Well-Known Member

    Don't take all of her criticisms to heart. Understand that it is not your fault for not being able to meet up to her expectations as many people won't be able to meet such high standards too. Try telling her how you feel because if she's always criticizing people around her, she may end up losing friends. Otherwise, just put up with her until you move out. Take care.