I'm an ass

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by ace1972, Dec 20, 2010.

  1. ace1972

    ace1972 Member

    iWhat a thread title.

    I am a 38 year old guy and I made a mistake. I am dating a wonderful woman who is supportive, kind and loving. I have been seeing her for about 3 weeks or so. The mistake I made is that I slept with another woman-a woman whom I have no interest in except sex. I had a family member pass away and this other girl was there for me to forget my pain with. Wrong I know, but it happened. I have decided to not tell the other girl what happened. Sleeping with someone else was wrong to do, but it certainly is not going to happen again.

    Is it odd, that this "affair" has made me appreciate my gf more? Sounds odd to think and odd to write down, but its true. I know what I have with her is something I want to see if it can go the distance. The other was physical only.

    I have a history of relationships that do not last--I am picky. Most last a year or so. I have been to counselling but have not been in some time. I need to go again, I started a new job and the hours are hard to co-ordinate.

    I tried to end my life in Sept. The gf I had at the time, she did not want/could not deal with my attempt, so we broke up.

    I am fucked up right now, I think my attempt and my family members death are all tied. Maybe I should give myself a break?

    I am not making much sense
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 20, 2010
  2. LostNerd

    LostNerd Well-Known Member

    First of all, welcome...

    Well, this isn't too much of a tricky one... A relationship is built on TRUST. Without trust, a relationship cannot function and so to be honest, I suggest that you come clean to your girlfriend. I'm sure she would rather that you be honest than keep secrets...

    I thought of this a couple of weeks ago, I have no idea if its already been quoted anywhere but:

    "To lie, you must create another lie to cover up that lie, which in turn means that you must create another. This means that when the truth finally comes out, which it will, it will be a bigger issue than it already is. HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY".

    If she is the right woman for you, she may need to take some space but she will come back. BUT ONLY IF YOUR HONEST There is nothing a woman hates more than a liar. I learnt this one the hard way. If you keep up this charade, it is more likely that she will never return.

    You will feel really upset at first when she leaves you, but dont do anything silly! There is always another way, OK?

    Remember, you always have us here on the forum to blow off steam to. I'm going to start being on here near-miss 24/7 (On my phone, pc, etc...) and so I will keep an eye out for you.

    I wish you every success and luck in the future.

    Kind Regards and Merry Christmas,

  3. ashtar

    ashtar Well-Known Member

    You know, right now you have the problem of having cheated on your current gf... The question is tell her or dont tell her? If you know she loves you and you mean a lot to her, then dont tell her. If I were with someone I really really loved then I wouldnt want to know. But if you are serious with this relationship tell her.
    Yes, counselling is always good. Try to go there again.
    You shouldnt be so hard on yourself. It was a crisis. A loved one died. You cheated because your judgement abilities were couded.
  4. victor

    victor Account Closed

    if its a genuinine mistake n ure not gonna do it again n ure confident 200% bout it, dont tell her n dont hurt her... just make sure u wont fuck up again