i really just can't take it anymore. now i just wanna rest in piece. sleep all day is the the best thing i do.... 5 years ago it was good, had a gf, perfectly healthy, in school (high school) everything was good. then, her parents had to move to Ottawa because of their job, and since i was the only one working a shit min wage part time job, not like we had a chnace to move in somewhere together...we'd be broke...so she moved away. Thought we'd at least be in contact...but shes gone. I guess i moved on a bit a year later and went for a 5th extra year of highschool to figure out what i wanna study (college or univ. and what). I managed to get into an arhitecture prog. at college. First year...well first sem was still great....then in march 07 i got rear ended while at a stop light. 50yrs old careless lady rammed me going 70km/h...the start of my neck pains. whole lotta physio and chiropractors...slowly getting better. may '08....rear ended again...FML. i wasnt recovered after the first one...and wham, complications galore. i guess this was the nail on the coffin....no sports for me....everything causes extra pain...lost alot of self esteem, not much social time for me...no chance to meet any girl if im sitting at home (was living on my own to be near school) miserable. only thing ppl liked me for was all the free tutoring and help and nice things i did for everyone....now that theyve graduated...no one gives a hoot...no one really calls...they only called when they needed something. so i got alot of em on facebook...think any of the 60 "friends" remembered my birthday? nope. i was diagnosed w/ chronic neck pain in 08....i became really suicicdal and all down. two ppl really noticed and apparently cared...led me to counselling. Well, the best the counsellor could help me was if we narrowed it down to whats upsetting me and get rid of it. well good luck treating neck pain w/ anti-depressants. aint gonna work. didnt work. eventually, those two 'freinds' said that im causes them too much stress and they cant deal w/ me...(wtf did they care in the first place then...my barrier was up...and i told them to stay away)..well i got my wish. i attempted to end it twice...freinds came in. another time, a stranger intervened. i got off lucky... didnt get sent anywhere...cuz if i did, i'd insta-suicide. well fast forward to april 09...i graduated..barely...that last semester i barely made it...too depressed. i figured i may as well get a good job like i had last year for co-op and try to get over it. well stupid recession and ppl not hiring much...5 months later..its now september and im still jobeless, living at home. so what do i do? well friends are busy. some moved away and got new friends. neck pain is getting worse...nothing is helping, no pills, no physio nothing is working. my last hope was a nerve block injection which failed miserably, caused more pain and didnt work. i sleep alot. i go to bed...hmm well rite now its 4:30 am....and im still awake.....maybe il lgo to bed later at around breakfast time and sleep my day away. if i ever get the chance to do it...and make it an accident , so that way it wont be as bad for my family....ill go thru w/ it. i just dont want to deal w/ life anymore. its painful everything. what am i supposed to do? my depressio nwill only get cured if i resolve/eliminate the source...well the source is a chronic neck pain that a bunch of doctors have said may never go away. pain pills dont work, nerve block injections failed...endless cycle. i really want out....i dont kno what to do... help?