I'm back, I'm changing, and I want you to give yourself a chance

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by Dreamland, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. Dreamland

    Dreamland Well-Known Member

    SF! I've missed you!

    The reason I've been gone for the last few months is that my life took a dive into a complete crisis and I ended up quitting my job because I could no longer function in my position with the constant depression and suicidal ideation. In November, I began therapy and--at my therapist's urging--went into my city's emergency psychiatric services clinic. There, I was diagnosed with depression and received a prescription for citalopram (Celexa). Since November, things have begun to look up. I am starting to feel the effects of sticking to the medication this time around, and the therapy has helped tremendously. I have just begun EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) for the abuse in my past, and despite the headaches I have afterward I am feeling more confident than ever.

    Why am I telling you this?

    Because I no longer want to die. I no longer want to kill myself because I know I am not helpless. I have the power to be happy and realize my full potential no matter how hard it is, no matter how much work it takes, no matter how much it costs. I am worth it. My life is worth it. I have too much to do and too many lives to touch before I am done with this.

    I want you to know that just mere months ago I was ready to jump from a highway bridge into the Mississippi or be thrown from a car through a windshield. Today, I want to make my dreams come true. I am a fellow Suicide Forum member, and you CAN do this. You CAN be here. You just have to realize it is possible and YOU ARE WORTH THIS WORK. Because I absolutely 100% know that you are. And I don't even know you. I love you. You hear me? I LOVE YOU.

    Please do this for yourself. Find a therapist in your insurance network. No insurance? No money? Find one that has low income payment options. Find a free counseling center that may be able to hook you up with therapy for the financially strapped. They know who to call in your area. I'm not saying you have to get medicated, just see someone. Medication is just one of your options. Yes, it's working for me, but this is YOUR journey. And even though I know you might not want this now, your future self wants this for you very badly. Trust me. What would you say to someone you love who's going through what you are? Your future self LOVES you. I love you. We all love you.

    Just give yourself a chance, okay? I won't ask you to do anything more than that.
  2. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    ((Dreamland)) so very glad for you that things have and are going good.. hope it keeps going that way.. this post of yours is different a lot from what is usually said on here.. thank you.. hope many people read your post here.. yes, this can happen for you also.. Jim
  3. Aquarius123

    Aquarius123 Well-Known Member

    Overcoming Depression & Suicidal Tendencies Through Understanding'

    Thank you, dear Dreamland, for sharing your moving and inspiring success story with us. I hope you don’t mind if I add some of my learning to yours.

    When Things Go Wrong

    When one reflects on depression and suicide in an attempt to overcome these tendencies, it is necessary to be utterly honest with ourselves and ask some searching questions like: ‘Why did I get depressed in the first place? What’s up with me? Where did I go wrong?’ If my own life’s experience is anything to go by, as often as not things in our lives – maybe the whole course of our present lifetime – fails to unfold and things refuse to turn out the way we once dreamed and imagined they would happen. My life has taught me that a better understanding of the processes of life and the laws of the Universe, which life on all its levels is subject to, can bring dramatic improvements and healing to a mind that is in a state of depression and which, had it been left unattended to, may eventually have been unable to see any other way out of its predicament than suicide.

    Now I know that when things sometimes seemingly go wrong in our lives, it is always us who are out of step with the Universe and not the other way round. It is then more than likely that the energies that it is currently putting at our disposal wish to tell a different story and are trying to steer us into a different direction. If one seems to run into one invisible wall after another, when obstacle after obstacle rears its head, it is a safe bet that the Universe is attempting to give us a message that somehow we are barking up the wrong tree; and it may well be the case that it has something much better up its sleeve for us, if we but pay attention.

    The world around us is always a mirror of what is taking place within us. Through its actions and reactions it is constantly trying to give us some kind of guidance. Therefore, it is always worth our while to pay attention to what is after all Universal guidance. When things are not going the way we would want them to, the time may have come for taking stock and for finding ways of getting back into harmony with ourselves and the lessons we have come to learn during this lifetime. To help us re-align our energies to those of the Universe, the time for making a change of direction in our lives may have come.

    It almost goes without saying, but I will mention it anyway that because we have freedom of choice, we do not have to do anything of the kind. Yet, if you are a wise one, you will pay attention to whatever guidance comes your way. So, next time things seemingly go wrong in your life, why not try your hand at something else and look towards channelling your energies into different avenues of expression?

    You can save yourself many disappointments by bearing in mind that doors will only ever open for anyone when they are meant to. And when one of them does, the experience can be like something one usually sees only in funny films. Having so got used to pushing and shoving uselessly at far too many doors, there may well come the moment, when – metaphorically speaking – we have found the right one. It then flies open so suddenly that it feels as if one was almost shooting out through the window, at the other end of the room. Why not try it out for yourself, sometime?

    True trust and faith in ourselves, our life and the Universe can only grow in anyone through first hand experiences, like the one that is now before us. To enable us to learn to trust, when we try one door and it will not open for us, no matter how hard we try, when things seem to be going wrong, as they sometimes will, it is worth our while to reflect and have a bit of a dialogue with ourselves; something like this: ‘Let me see, this door is obviously not meant for me, maybe the Universe has something else for me in mind. So, I’ll be patient and wait for another opening, for come it will. Are things really going wrong in my life or is the Universe trying to give me a message that I need a change of direction?

    ‘Could this be happening for my own good and because the Universe loves me and knows my true wants and needs better than I do? Could it be protecting me against myself, because it wants me to find what is rightfully mine? Is it possible that something better is in store for me, something I might not have imagined even in my wildest dreams? Perhaps it would be better if I waited patiently for a while; maybe another chance will then come my way. Now, isn’t that better than despairing or even swearing at the Universe because it does not seem to wish to fulfil my wishes? Because I am your child, Universe, let me try the loving way instead. Alright, here I go! I love you and trust you, as you love and trust me. After all, that makes an awful lot of sense, you know!’

    And when funds are low and debts are high, do I need to ask myself: ‘Why am I not taking part in the Universe’s abundance? Is it because I am not sharing my own abundance with it, my gifts and talents, of which we all have many, with those around me? How can I increase my input into life, so that I can get more out of it? Do I need to be less selfish and think more about the good of the whole of society, life, the planet and the Universe? Why don’t I try and see what happens?’

    Don’t Quit
    When things go wrong, as they sometimes will;
    When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill;
    When funds are low and debts are high;
    And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
    When care is pressing you down more than a bit,
    Rest, if you must, but don’t ever quit.

    Life can be queer with its twists and turns,
    As every one of us sometimes learns.
    But many a failure can turn about,
    And we could be winning, if only we stick things out.
    Don’t give up, even if the pace appears to be slow.
    You may succeed, with just one more blow!

    Success is failure turned inside out;
    It’s the silver tint on the clouds of doubt.
    And you never can tell how close to it you are,
    It could be near, when it still seems very far!
    So, stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit.
    And when things seem at their worst.
    That’s just the time when it’s most unwise to quit.


    From ‘Overcoming Depression & Suicidal Tendencies Through Understanding’

    With love and light,