I'm back. Miss me? Know me? Give a shit?

[Patch]

just sad and stressed. always things, but it could always be worse. welcome back to the motherf*cking forum, Patch. i don't make these things up, but i can see it in her eyes when i tell her things. she doesn't believe me, or she thinks i'm over-reacting. its not even about major feelings, I'm just telling her about my health. its fucking bullshit, I'm not making these things up! My mom took me to the fucking hospital because I fainted/vomited/was white as a sheet/was screaming in pain. I've been working with my hand too much and I wake up with pins and needles/throughout the day it goes numb/I can't make a fist/it hurts to write. Aka carpal tunnel, but I'm going to the doctors anyway. its not my fucking fault it happened at the same time, i'm not making it up, i'm not looking for attention, i'm not lying so I can get sympathy! Fuck! wtf. fucking bullshit. why is she taking it this way? she' probably getting sick of me. everyone does, just a matter of mother fucking time. that last sentence is supposed to sound thoughtful, something you say while smoking a joint in a lawn chair looking at the sky. not wah-fucking-wah, poor me. just thoughtful.

I need to go to bed, I have to work in the morning. pay day tomorow. yay.

 

[gentlelady]

Sorry you are having these problems with your mom Patch. I am glad to see you are okay, although I wish you didn't have to come back under these circumstances. Have the doctors figured out what is going on? Let us know what you find out. :hug:

 

[aki]

that last sentence is supposed to sound thoughtful, something you say while smoking a joint in a lawn chair looking at the sky.

:laugh: brilliant.

you sound pretty angry, i hate that, having all that energy and not being able to express it, it could make you go crazy...i dunno....people say to punch your pillow but it never works for me. look after yourself though. try and get it out in a good way....

health problems are hard...really stressful. sorry you going through that.

i don't think your mum's sick of you. it's weird....the people we love the most we're often the meanest to as well...like our family. you can truly be yourself around them, that means the bad side as well.

 

[Patch]

thank you, both of you.

haha, its not my mom it (was/is) my friend. My only good friend I can talk to, which is why it sucked so much. I try not to tell my mom about my ailments as she gets kind of pissed.

feeling a little better. I guess. I tried Zumba (latin dancing/aerobics combined into an awesome 1 hour class of blasting music, hardcore moves, and an upbeat mood.) Holy crap, I found a (temporary) cure for depression. I GUARANTEE you that you can't feel sad during a zumba class. Go look it up on YouTube. Its awesome. I was the token white-girl-who-can't-dance in my class, but I did my best and I felt good about it. I'm going back on monday.

On another note, I had a good pay check. A little over three hundred. Sweet. I get this every week, mind you (which is SO much more awesome than every two weeks) and 3-4 hundred a week gives me plenty for savings and fun!

Hey, check out my happy post. sweet. Did I mention I'm waiting for a pizza? Are you jealous? :P