I'm Back (sort of)

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by ozinuk, Mar 2, 2010.

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  1. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    I must apologise for not returning to SF but I have spent the last 4 1/2 months in a hospital recovering from an attempted suicide. Detail of which I can't go into but needles to say due to the interference of well intentioned people I am here to try another day.:sad:
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug:

    I'm almost speechless (which doesn't happen often). I'm so relieved you're still alive!
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Glad you're still with us!!!! And I hope you do see that people care about you or they wouldnt of interferred. Hope knowing that gives you some strength to face each of the new days ahead :arms:
     
  4. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    I'd like to say I feel grateful someone cared enough to intervene and help but I can't. Waking up after 2 weeks I was confused and unable to comprehend what happened, the dr's explained what had happened, the police came to ask questions they were all shocked when I told them this was not suppose to happen I should not be here and I provoked the situation to end my life. Next time there'll be no bystanders. :sad:
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope there will not be a next time I hope you continue to see the care the kindness that surrounds you here and else where. Take the coping skills and use them to get well to help others stay strong.
     
  6. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    I can't see the kindness or should I say I don't trust the kindness of others due to the betrayals in the past, there are one maybe two members here who know what I mean. I've been betrayed by people who we are suppose to be able trust and cannot put myself in a position like that again. It took me a long time to realise this "without love and without trust there is nothing left to live for". I have learned people won't let you right the wrongs of your past because they are so entrenched in the now that they cannot see any further than now. I don't belong in a world like that.:sad:
     
  7. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I know exactly how you feel right now. This is my second full day home from my attempt on the 17th of Feb. It has me questioning so many things about me, my life, and the people in it. So many issues. I dont want people to think of me as rude but I just cant pretend to be something I'm not. And grateful right now is not one of the things I can be. Here if you want to talk :arms:
     
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