Hello, everyone. It's been a few years since I posted on this site, and I sort of stopped posting without letting anyone know. I'd like to think people were worried about me, but I doubt it. The fact is, I have been spiraling down again and don't know where else to turn. Tomorrow I will be two years clean from SH, and I am terrified. I wonder if any of my friends from my last time here are still around. I hope they're all okay. You guys got me through some very hard times. When I told my psychiatrist about this forum, though, I don't think he thought it was healthy for me to be spending so much time in a community of suicidal people. Maybe that's part of why I stopped. I always felt ashamed for leaving with no warning, but I was afraid to come back. But now I don't know what else to do. And I know that here, people will understand. I never felt judged here. Please take me back. I want to have someone who knows what I'm feeling again, because the feelings are back in full force. My life is different, but it's still me. No matter what I change, it will still be me in here.