I'm back...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WU13, Mar 17, 2012.

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  1. WU13

    WU13 Active Member

    I was doing so good. I hadn't cut in almost a year. I had my ups and downs, but I could manage them.

    What made this week so different? True, my mother has been hospitalized for bipolar disorder now. She spent over a week trying to manage meds and keep herself from killing others (I'm not sure she was a real danger to herself this time.) I'm back at school, one year left till I'm an official college grad.

    But it's like something kicked me in the gut. I started crying and couldn't breathe. My brain kept yelling "You break everything you touch, just stop. Stop breathing."

    Just when you think you're back in control, it decides to hit you again......
     
  2. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    sorry to hear that hollie. we never seem to get ahead.
     
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    We often don't realize our own fortunes until we weigh ourselves beside potential others. You're one year away from graduating college. Many people, even today, still cannot achieve that due to lack of will, financial or social circumstance. You are many steps ahead of many. With the good, of course, also comes the bad. It's a struggle, even when you're ahead of many others. You should remember what you have achieved and will achieve, focus on the future and life goals, and find strength and will for self AND FOR OTHERS. Good luck to you!
     
  4. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi Hollie,

    I am sorry your mom is in a very tough fight...sending you positive vibes in the wake of your struggles, and hoping you are getting in touch with people about your hard times. Look after yourself. :hug:
     
  5. WU13

    WU13 Active Member

    Thanks everyone.
    As strange as this sounds, my best friend is going through some struggles and so it's allowing me to focus my attention (and currently my anger) into that situation. I always do better when there's something else to distract me from my own life.
     
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