I'm suffering from severe depression and anxiety. I don't have a lot of friends and I never have. I find it difficult to engage with people, like I'm in a slightly different dimension and they don't see me. I used to be so full of hope and joy. I had a boyfriend. I think he emotionally abused me, but he said that it was just my illness making me feel that way. Under pressure from my parents, friends and therapist ( who obviously only heard my side of the story) I broke up with him last week. He won't speak to me at all now. I WAS getting better. But ever since I left him I feel so alone. Two of my 4 friends are leaving the country in a month. Another is also depressed and I don't want to burden her more. The other has a 4 year old son, lives a 2 hour drive away and is going through a divorce AND her mum has cancer. So I'm fairly low on her priority list. I built all my hopes and dreams around my boyfriend. I honestly thought he was the one. Now everything I say, do, wear, look at reminds me of how I have pushed him away. Even that dancing llama ( he loves llamas). I don't see any point carrying on. I'm in so much pain inside and now I have no-one to comfort me. I've spent the last two days trying to work out an effective way to kill myself. I can't live like this. Every time it seems to improve, something happens to make it worse and I think it's all my own doing. I just want it all to end.